Whipped Cream Difficulties

Time for the backdated TMQ watch. What bloodshed and infamy did we miss last week? Let’s open the briefcase and find out.

“Realistically, most clubs who just fired their head coach won’t be able to obtain glamour names, regardless of how much money is waved.” 868 words down.

Denver: Balance. Defense. Offense. Manning? Sentence fragments. Good device. Will be used more. Later.

Sweet plays of the final week of the season: Indianapolis – Houston, New England – Miami. Sour: Chicago – Detroit. Mixed: New Orleans – Carolina.

“Last week, sellers on Stubhub were offering tickets to the Jacksonville at Tennessee game for $5.” And tickets for this Sunday’s Spurs – Timberwolves game are going for even less than that. Yeah, we realize NBA <> NFL; we just get a kick out of tickets going for less than a bag of chips at the convenience store.

Paywalls are good for the newspaper business.

Something something Green Bay – Minnesota. Oh, yeah: “..Christian Ponder averages just 6 yards per pass attempt, worse than all other NFL starters save the hapless Blaine Gabbert.”

Science funding is adequate, according to TMQ:

When Ronald Reagan took office, the National Science Foundation received $2.5 billion annually (in today’s dollars) in federal funding; for 2012, the figure was $7 billion, a 180 percent real increase in a generation. In 2001, the National Institutes of Health received $22 billion (in today’s dollars). By 2012, the figure was $30 billion, a one-third real increase in a single decade. To top it off, Obama put a $20 billion science funding bonus into the 2009 stimulus bill. Research and development funding for the military, the NIH and NSF have grown dramatically in constant dollar terms, while other forms of science funding are at or near historical highs.

Hey. what did TMQ get for Christmas, anyway? A “worry free” Cuisinart coffee maker, “limited edition” Lord of the Rings Pez dispensers (complete with “The Exclusive Walmart-Only Eye of Sauron Pez Dispenser”)…and presidential Pez dispensers, too. Somebody in TMQ’s family must have a Pez fixation.

Washington – Dallas: “TMQ rails against mega-blitzing, and Washington won the NFC East partly by mega-blitzing the Cowboys.”

Creep. “Wouldn’t a psychic service already know my question?” Not only would they know your question, Gregg, but they’d know that particular question was your question.

In high school football, on Senior Night anyone who has never played is supposed to get on the field for at least one down. High school head coaches who don’t follow this tradition should burn in hell for eternity.

Don’t be shy, Gregg. Tell us how you really feel.

Most contemporary scientists have no problem accepting contentions that the universe began from a point without dimensions, or contains 100 billion galaxies, and similar mind-bending notions. Yet they tend to scoff at the notion of advanced warlike space aliens as Hollywood silliness…So why is it assumed that belligerent intelligent aliens are unlikely? Sadly, it may be that other advanced beings are likely to be very dangerous.

Because we’re cock-eyed optimists, Gregg? Also, civilizations that don’t master their warlike tendencies are likely to destroy themselves before developing interstellar travel, while civilizations that develop interstellar travel don’t have the resources to engage in pointless conflict. Maybe?

Did the Texans peak too soon?

As a gun owner, your columnist thinks there is a case for a rifle or shotgun in the home. Rifles are useful for hunting and marksmanship, shotguns are ideal for self-defense; most models of both don’t have the large ammunition capacity sought by mass murderers. (No one ever needs to fire 30 rounds in self-defense.)

Wrong, but thank you for playing, TMQ. (We can start with New Orleans post-Katrina as an example. Also, there’s that slippery “need” thing again.)

…it is medical progress, not the proliferation of guns, that is the first cause of declining homicide rates.

Interesting theory, but we think TMQ is lacking in proof of this.

Why are the wing nuts who run the NRA so big on more guns yet silent about policing and regulation?

Gee, Gregg. Maybe it is because we already have plenty of policing and regulation. Can TMQ name any of the federal laws that apply to sales and transfer of guns?

“The Bills need a young, ambitious head coach who wants to make his mark in the sport, not a time-server.” And they won’t get that until the team is sold to someone who cares.

Options versus grants: “Cook has paid himself $382 million for a year of work, with most of that income deferred to future years.” So he hasn’t actually paid himself $382 million, has he? That figure is based on the day those stock grants were conferred to Tim Cook, but “the grants are restricted grants — he receives the first 500,000 shares in 2016 and the balance in 2021, and must be with the company on both dates.” So Cook is basically gambling that the share price will go up or at least remain constant. He’s got skin in the game.

“Meanwhile worker conditions are improving at the Foxconn factories in China that make Apple products, but workers still are paid about $20 per day.” And those workers will get that $20 a day no matter what Apple’s stock price is; probably even if Apple goes out of business or stops dealing with Foxconn (as we’re sure another company will step in). TMQ wants us to think that it is somehow unfair and unreasonable that Tim Cook is taking a risk and possibly reaping benefits from that, while the poor worker in Communist China is taking little to no risk and is guaranteed $20 a day. Sigh.

“RG III’s year has left the Rams organization unhappy.” And WCD very happy.

Reader mail: if you make a charitable donation as a gift, the recipient can deduct it from their taxes. Good to know. TMQ: the sports world’s leading source for tax advice.

That’s it for our retrospective TMQ. We expect to be back on track next week. Until then, keep watching the skies for the muzzle flashes of distant weapons.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 9th, 2013 at 8:46 pm and is filed under Firings, Guns, NFL, Sports, TMQ watch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.