Whipped Cream Difficulties

Another Tuesday has rolled around, and it is time to take a stab at this week’s Tuesday Morning Quarterback. Once again, we’re going to slash our way through the thickets of Easterbrook’s prose, hacking away at logical fallacies when we see them and using our sharp wit to puncture pretense.

After the jump…

“How should [Ray] Lewis be assessed?”

Oh, come on, people, you saw that coming. Unlike the two guys who got stabbed.

Seriously, Easterbrook actually makes some thoughtful points about Lewis, his career, and the 2000 stabbing incident.

Lewis, by appearances, is redeemed. No one can know what is in another person’s heart. But since 2000, Lewis has seemed a changed man. And this is more important than his achievements as a football player.

We don’t know why, but we’re more inclined to accept that Ray Lewis is redeemed than we are Michael Vick. That’s kind of puzzling for us; maybe we like dogs more than people? Maybe we consider “obstruction of justice” less serious and more understandable than killing dogs? Don’t know.

Sweet: Cleveland. (Hi, Cheryl!) Sour: Tampa – Kansas City. Both: Seattle – New England, Jay Feely.

Creep.

Easterbrook has some things to say about gerrymandering in Texas. Easterbrook also has some things to say about gerrymandering in Maryland.

Democrats in the Maryland state legislature recently gerrymandered the Old Line State to dilute the impact of conservative voters, and though the mainstream media have been wringing hands regarding Texas, they’ve been silent on Maryland: Much of the MSM doesn’t object to disenfranchising conservatives. Even given the sordid history of gerrymandering, the new district in Maryland takes the crab cake.

But we also want to highlight something else TMQ says in the same item:

TMQ does not understand why politicians and interest groups harass voters with robocalls. Delaney’s politics make me want to vote for him, but his robocalls make me want to vote against him. I propose this rule: Always vote against any candidate or single-issue group that robocalls your home.

Yes, yes, one thousand times yes! We get so many robocalls at our home, we have given up answering the landline. (Anyone who really wants to talk to us and is legit has our cell phone number; the only reason we even keep the landline is because we have to have it for DSL service.) We endorse TMQ’s position; when we did answer the phone, and it was a call from a political campaign, we followed exactly the policy TMQ proposes, and we told the person on the other end exactly that.

(Edited to add: Mike the Musicologist points out that we are lumping predictive dialing in with robocalling. While both involve automation, and we find both equally annoying, MtMs point is valid; words mean what they mean, not what we want them to mean. So we endorse not voting for political candidates who call you, whether it is an automated message or a human on the other end. If it is a human, we endorse telling the human why you’re not voting for their candidate. If it is an automated message, we encourage you to take whatever action you think is appropriate.)

Should everyone wear knee and tight pads? TMQ likes 4th and Goal: One Man’s Quest to Recapture His Dream, but it doesn’t seem like our cup of tea. Run the ball, Philadelphia.

How long until college students are cranking out tendentious term papers designed to please graying Marxist professors, in which the pigs’ fortresses are reinterpreted as nonviolent communal societies trying to defend themselves against imperialist aerial aggressors who want their land?

Yes, TMQ is talking about a Marxist interpretation of “Angry Birds”.

Moral victories for the Bills. Why did Denver win? Because San Diego acted like the game was over after the first half.

“NCIS: Los Angeles” is unrealistic. Thanks, Gregg. “Did Green Bay Expose the Texans?” We were conflicted by this game, as we happen to like both teams. In retrospect, the Texans had to lose at least one, and the Packers were highly motivated to win after a kind of lousy start. We don’t really think the loss reflects much on the Texans as a team.

There’s a shortage of shirtless Tebow. Alert the media. The WASP male aristocracy is fading. Ditto. (Our latest million-dollar idea is a Social Register app for the iPhone.)

Chicken-<salad> kicks: Colts.

Does anyone understand the free-blocking zone rule?

 Increasingly, public schools are overstaffed. New euphemisms and more featherbedding are not the solution.

Raiders: 4-2 before Palmer, 5-10 since. Blitzes: Rams, Ravens, Washington.

“Friday, Pulaski won 45-14 to advance its record to 5-2.” But who did they play, Gregg? (McClellan. You’re welcome.)

Reader mail: Chinese nationals are keeping universities afloat, 3% unemployment is a good argument for a college degree (we’re glad to hear that), symphony musicians often don’t work an entire year and have to constantly audition, maybe we should repeal the two-term limit but not allow consecutive terms, and “is it so unthinkable to ask our President to abide by the restrictions to which soldiers abide?” Actually, just this morning, we were commenting that someone should tell the president he doesn’t need to express an opinion on every damn thing, including a trumped-up fight between two no-talents who appear on a glorified karaoke competition.

Tennessee-Martin 66, Murray State 59. Concordia of Chicago 47, Concordia of Wisconsin 44 (OT).

“Next Week: Why doesn’t General Motors market Batmobiles?” Because people like Easterbrook will complain that they are environmentally unsound, and that there’s no reason for any privately-owned vehicle on the public roads to have that much horsepower? That’s our guess, anyway.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 16th, 2012 at 3:34 pm and is filed under Cars, Clippings, Law, NFL, Sports, TMQ watch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.