No, simony isn’t what happens when you finish in third place on Jeopardy and your consolation prize is a year’s supply of Simoniz.
n. The buying or selling of ecclesiastical pardons, offices, or emoluments.
I hadn’t heard of anyone being charged with simony since Martin Luther and the Reformation. At least, until yesterday:
Simony was a common transgression in the Middle Ages, when simonists were condemned to hell in Dante’s “Inferno.” The modern consequences aren’t quite so dire, but in the most serious cases they can include a priest’s suspension.
Suspension? I would have expected excommunication.