TMQ is back temporarily, for the first of his two yearly draft columns. We were actually kind of wondering about this; ESPN dropped “Page 2” a couple of weeks ago, and we were unsure if TMQ would stay or go.
Anyway, we are glad to see Easterbrook back, and, after the jump, we will mock his mockery…
“Deep down inside, the secret of NFL draft mania is that we love busts.” Yes. WCD pleads guilty to this charge and throws ourselves on the mercy of the court. You can skip the first 640 words of the column now, though TMQ’s summary of recent first round busts is entertaining. (His rant about monkeys and typewriters less so, though we do wonder why crested macaques are fond of the letter ‘S’.)
We’re not going to go item by item through TMQ’s mock draft, since most of the items are funnier to TMQ then they are to everyone else. We will single out some specific items for commentary. For example, we do appreciate the Kate Upton photo. We also appreciate the link to The Puppet’s Court.
Weasels are a recurring theme in this column, but we’ll come back to that later.
“… in seven days in January [“Spider-Man”] sold $2.9 million worth of tickets, best week in Broadway history”. Yes, TMQ, but citing one week isn’t helpful. Was that one week an exception? What are the average weekly ticket sales? How many tickets do they have to sell to pay the costs of running the show? “Conspiracy to rewrite” does make us snicker.
We’ll use this opportunity to add our own shot (ha!) at Bank of America.
We’ll also use this opportunity to note that we’re tired of the over saturation of cake shows on the various food channels. Find something else to air, guys.
Draft quarterbacks. Another 516 words you can skip.
“In sports as in other aspects of life, often dishonorable behavior is surprisingly ineffective.” Would that we were able to believe that, Gregg.
“Who’s running the Raiders, the Finance Minister of Greece?” Snicker.
TMQ called Bobby Petrino five years ago. What do you want, a parade? Seriously, this is like TMQ’s “Any 32 people chosen at random from the telephone book…”
Wasteful spending on bodyguards: TMQ picks up on a story we noted earlier in the year (though he left out some of the more interesting details). Plus Newt Gingrich bashing.
And that’s a wrap for this week. Tune in next week, when, if we’re lucky, TMQ will pick another television show to bash for being “unrealistic”.