Whipped Cream Difficulties

Here is a partial list of movies that Gregg Easterbrook apparently thinks are better than “The Dark Knight”:

• “The Room”
• “Manos: The Hands of Fate”
• “Exterminator City”
• “Robo-Geisha”
• “Zardoz”
• “Rubber”

After the jump, we’ll dig a little deeper into Easterbrook as film critic in this week’s TMQ…

“Misdirection is the key to short-yardage runs.” 706 words down.

Rachel has this whole weird eye thing going on. We know it is probably makeup, but we still find it disturbing.

Sweet and sour: Miami-Kansas City (twice), New Orleans-Tampa.

Wacky disclaimers. Off week for this item. Warm-up songs. Off item for this week. “The vaunted Steelers defense could not stop a 92-yard two-minute-warning drive at home.”

“‘The Dark Knight’ — TMQ’s nominee for the worst motion picture ever made –“. Yes, you read that correctly. We are not Batman fanboys. In general, we dislike superhero movies. We don’t think “The Dark Knight” is above criticism. But we enjoyed it much more than we expected to. Say what you will about “The Dark Knight”, but it is at least a superhero movie that tries to be about something bigger than just the g–damned Batman. And it is at least competent in staging and direction, even if there are plot holes in the script. Does Easterbrook seriously think “The Dark Knight” is worse than “The Human Centipede”? Or is he just grinding his axe? Better be careful, Gregg, or you’ll take the edge off.

“The planned ‘Wonder Woman’ remake show was canceled before the pilot even aired.” No, Gregg. We’ve already explained this to you.

“‘Fringe’ is a four-season major-network TV show revolving around a female protagonist with absolutely zero sex appeal.”

Sure, Gregg.

Giants-Patriots something something. Maybe Groupon should have taken that Google offer. “…the new Denny’s Mac ‘N’ Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt has a stunning 1,960 calories and 99 grams of fat.” Did America ask Gregg Easterbrook to be our food nanny? Was there an election that I missed?

The Colts continue to suck for Luck. TMQ continues to confuse “letting people keep more of their own money” for “special-interest handouts”. Eagles-Bears something something.

“…in routine impacts, old ‘leatherhead’ football helmets often offer just as much protection as the latest state-of-the-art models.”

More pointless whinging about presidential debates. They are the way they are because the candidates want it that way, King Canute TMQ.

“…so the likes of Bruce Springsteen and Jay-Z can roar through stoplights and use highway shoulders while everyone else must halt and wait”. They needed the Tennessee Highway Patrol for that? In Austin, especially on Loop 360, people use highway shoulders all the damn time. Indeed, this is one of the things that use to drive us bugf–k when we drove Loop 360 daily.

Christmas creep drags to an end. Chicken-<salad> kicking: Browns. More creep. The “explosion of points across the league” isn’t.

Reader comments: Martin Luther’s “95 Theses” marked the end of the Middle Ages, you maroon. Inertia is a better explanation than conservation of momentum for Matt Cassel.

“But of course turnovers and bonehead plays assured San Diego of losing.” Stupid Redskins. Stupid Steelers. Life on (a clever simulation of) Mars. Madden Curse. Crabtree Curse.

Dubuque 49, Coe 42. Concordia of Illinois 31, Concordia of Wisconsin 14.

That’s a wrap for this week. Tune in next week, when we hope to hear Gregg Easterbrook explain why “Troll 2” is a better movie than “The Dark Knight”.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 8th, 2011 at 3:17 pm and is filed under Movies, Neuroscience, NFL, Sports, TMQ watch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.