The snark just isn’t flowing today. We might as well just jump right into this week’s TMQ after the jump…
“My Week 2 column suggested that blown coverages caused by the lack of an offseason — secondaries take time to jell — were the primary reason for the initial high passing stats, and that coverages would improve by November. This seems to be happening.” All glory to the Hypnotoad TMQ for the correct prediction. Go ahead and skip the first 571 words of this week’s column.
Michelle. We like girls named Michelle. We like girls named Michelle very much. (We checked and were unable to find an Android version of the Eagles cheerleader app.)
Sweet and sour plays: Detroit-Denver, Cleveland-San Francisco, Bengals-Seattle, Titans-Colts and Rams-Saints (blocked punts), Buffal0-Washington, San Diego-Kansas City (“Modern quarterbacks spend so much time in the shotgun they may be forgetting how to take the snap under center”).
Speaking of San Diego-Kansas City, TMQ has some interesting commentary on the officiating, complete with an explanation of the new “receiver who had not yet re-established” rule. We find the rule troubling, as it seems to involve a great deal of subjective judgement as to whether a hit is “unnecessary” roughness.
Creep.
TMQ is harshly critical of the James Webb Space Telescope. We are very much in favor of space telescopes (we think they make a lot more sense than building ever-larger Earth based telescopes), but yeah, the cost of the Webb does seem out of control. The best estimate we were able to find is that the Hubble cost $6 billion over the entire life of the project; according to TMQ, the Webb is up to $8.7 billion and won’t launch until 2018. And TMQ? The Saturn V was called that because it was based on the Saturn 1B. Frankly, “Space Launch System” doesn’t strike us as all that bad a name; it’ll probably pick up a nickname sooner or later.
How did the Eagles beat Dallas? Philadelphia was coming off a bye week, and Andy Reid likes to mix things up after a bye week.
“Will Women Take Over the Sports World?” Passing plays to linemen.
TMQ has now run “What Should Rocky Eat?” into the ground. Though we did like “When you open the bag, you are greeted with the overpowering aroma of a Lake Erie shoreline littered with dead, bloated fish.” Pour it into a bowl and set it on fire for the complete Cleveland experience.
(Yes, we are aware that it was the Cuyahoga River and not Lake Erie that caught fire. We call this “literary license”. Also, since we are from the Cleveland area and have family there, we are allowed to make these jokes.)
Something something Ryan Fitzpatrick Harvard Fred Jackson.
Christmas and Chanukah creep. “Good, bad, I’m the one writing the column.” Hell’s sports bar.
Everything you ever wanted to know about the University of Houston’s offense, but were afraid to ask. In brief: 18 seconds between plays, “[QB Case] Keenum is a 23-year-old sixth-year senior”, and Houston is just a very talented team overall.
Stupid Cowboys. We don’t have a lot to say about TMQ’s meditation on Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday, but we will note that we’re really excited about Jeff Guinn’s new book, The Last Gunfight: The Real Story of the Shootout at the O.K. Corral-And How It Changed the American West
Of all the things TMQ could use to fill column space not taken by basketball, we vote for “More cheerleader pictures”. “…makeshift groups of NBA stars stage barnstorming events”. Really? They are? We’ve heard nothing about these events. Which may go to TMQ’s point about “someone else makes the arrangements and takes the financial risks” when you’re playing in a league.
How do you beat New England? Ball control.
Something about basketball. Blitzing. Blown coverages. Dolphins. Bad officiating. (There’s something called a “batman violation”? Awesome.)
Good on the NCAA for allowing stipends and multiyear scholarships, even if the later did require a Justice Department investigation. The concussion outlook is getting brighter. Good job, kids.
California of Pennsylvania 28, Indiana of Pennsylvania 10. Monmouth of Illinois 69, Carroll of Wisconsin 14. Wisconsin Lutheran 35, Concordia of Wisconsin 28.
And that’s a wrap for this week. Tune in next week when TMQ will asking for recommendations on what kind of mud to purchase for his turtle.