Whipped Cream Difficulties

Too weird to pass up. On Friday, the Sunset Valley PD arrested a guy on charges of impersonating a police officer. (Sunset Valley is a small municipality on the outskirts of Austin; most of Sunset Valley consists of strip centers and big box stores. Just FYI.)

…31-year-old Crag Redhawk was arrested and charged with two counts of tampering with a government record after police found him to be carrying ticket books from area police and sheriff’s departments.

I really, really want to know where he got those ticket books.

…on Friday afternoon, Sunset Valley police stopped Redhawk in a Crown Victoria sedan with Home Depot-bought stickers on the side that said “Choctaw Police.” Redhawk claimed to be a member of the Choctaw Tribal Police Department, but that agency told the officers they had no record of Redhawk working for them. In addition, the car belonged to the Williamson County sheriff’s office and had a fake inspection sticker.

I also really, really want to know how he came into possession of a car belonging to the Williamson County sheriff’s office. Notice that the list of charges does not, so far, include “car theft” or “possession of a stolen vehicle”.

(I know what you’re thinking: “That might explain where he got the ticket books, too.” Maybe. But the way I read the article, he didn’t just have Williamson County ticket books, but also ones from the Austin Police Department and other local agencies. I don’t think all of those would be in one WCSO car.)

The fake inspection sticker is a nice touch, too. What, he couldn’t swing by one of those 10 minute inspection places? Then again, maybe the WCSO car wouldn’t pass inspection. Perhaps there was a problem with the emissions testing.

I wonder how they know he bought the “Choctaw Police” stickers at Home Depot. Was there a receipt in the car? Heck, I didn’t even know you could get custom stickers for your car done at Home Depot. That gives me a few ideas…

Redhawk was found to be carrying an antique handgun,

I’m wondering about that “antique handgun” as well.

a badge

I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ badges!

and a handcuff case, the affidavit said.

(Subject line hattip: Do you really need one? He cooks that crystal meth because the shine don’t sell. I’m mildly annoyed that you can’t purchase that song as a stand-alone tune on iTunes, and Amazon charges $1.99 for it instead of the usual 99 cents. Then again, it is over eight minutes long, so you’re getting good value for money. And how many songs do you know that give a shout-out to the SKS and Berdan-primed ammo from some East bloc nation?)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 5th, 2011 at 8:54 pm and is filed under Clippings, Law, Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.