TMQ has his party bus, WCD has our party van. Let’s get this party started, shall we?
This week’s column represents the climax of TMQ’s obsession with undrafted or unwanted players, with the announcement of the “Tuesday Morning Quarterback All-Unwanted All-Pros”. Perhaps now TMQ will back off this obsession for the rest of the season. Then again, knowing TMQ, that seems unlikely.
The NFL needs a seeded postseason, because a 7-9 or 8-8 team might make the playoffs, while a 12-4 team might have to play on the road. Even though this has never happened before. So, of course, we need to change things up based on a one-time event. Thanks, TMQ! Ever considered a job with the TSA?
Jamie. Dude, what is it with the vacant eyed blondes? Is that even a photo? It looks like someone applied the airbrush a little too liberally. “…whose favorite quote is from … G. I. Joe”? What is it: “Porkchop sandwiches!“? Sadly, no.
Sweet and sour: Indy – Oakland, Bengals – Chargers, Houston – Denver, Kansas City – Tennessee.
“Twenty years ago, New York City bureaucrats were demanding that citizens recycle whether they wished to or not, and imposing fines for failure to comply. Now if the average person is caught recycling, it’s a police matter.” Unfortunately, TMQ doesn’t make it possible to link to that part of his commentary, but we recommend you scroll down (from the cheerleader) and read it. We’d give TMQ a standing ovation if we were in a position to stand and ovate.
Crabtree curse: did he take down Singletary? WCD would have to say that Crabtree was only one of many self-inflicted wounds to the 49ers.
Wacky disclaimer watch: Panera Bread’s “affinity card”.
A bunch of stuff about the Saints – Falcons game. Our eyes glaze over.
More unwanted all-pros for TMQ’s fantasy team.
Will “True Grit” revive Westerns? TMQ thinks that it is time for a “”Wyatt Earp-Doc Holliday” remake. WCD says “Hell to the no”. As a matter of fact, WCD is even prepared to argue that no Westerns should be remade, but the margins of this post are too small to contain that argument. (We would exempt “True Grit”: we have not seen it yet, but it is our impression that it is less remake, and more an attempt to make a faithful adaptation of the Charles Portis novel
We criticized TMQ last week for commenting about the Texas high school football playoff system without doing meaningful population comparisons, especially to states like California. TMQ redeems himself a little bit this week: “California had only four state champions, one per nine million residents”. That’s good, Gregg. (The ratio for Texas, per Easterbrook, was one per million residents.) However: “the Golden State also crowns champions of what are essentially regional tournaments”, and TMQ does not provide a figure for those. And does Texas really look that bad compared to, say, Wyoming (one champion per 110,000 residents)?
More creep. Yawn. “How bad are the Bills?” appears to be more “How good are the Patriots?”.
“What hit me over the head, though, was that in a nation where one person in eight lives in poverty — in a world where 900 million people live on $1.25 or less a day — ‘dealing with extraneous gifts’ is such a problem for many Americans that a trade association exists to help them cope with this dreadful burden.” Dear TMQ: surely you have heard the phrase “first world problems” before?
Lunatic fringe, I know you’re out there. “They should serve drinks and have a band at Jets postgame news conferences! It’s a party no matter what happens on the field.”
WCD would like to know how TMQ determines what parts of the column to link, and what parts to not link. We would be delighted to link to his discussion of Time‘s year-end cover. (“Eighty-three percent of what happened in the past decade was negative?”)
Something about the Giants. Something about the Jaguars. (“All those sold-out home dates this season may end up down the drain unless the Indianapolis Colts honk at home next week to hapless the Tennessee Titans.” We know it is a typo, and lord knows we make our share of typos, but we’re going to have to start calling them “hapless the Tennessee Titans” in casual conversation. It has a nice ring.)
Chicken-<salad> kicks: Carolina.
Reader comments: everybody likes replay, nobody likes the current system, would a dedicated replay official help? Plus: “…for seven of Favre’s past 10 seasons, his last play was an interception, sack or fumble.”
“Single Worst Closing Minutes of the Season — So Far”: Miami – Detroit. Lazy players, passing instead of running: “…[Miami] couldn’t hold a 10-point lead with five minutes remaining in the fourth quarter at home against Detroit, which entered the contest on a 1-26 road streak.” Dear TMQ: in the name of all that is holy, please look up the definition of a streak.
Tune in next week, when we’ll hear TMQ give out the “Tuesday Morning Quarterback Non-Quarterback Non-Running Back NFL MVP” award. Guess we spoke just a little too soon.