Whipped Cream Difficulties

Somebody asked me last week, “Why do you do this?”

“This” meaning the TMQ Watch, not the Safety Dance:

It isn’t an unfair question. As I explained in the very first TMQ Watch,

Sometimes, Easterbrook does good work; he spent much of last season discussing the NFL’s response to head trauma among pro athletes, and I felt he was right on target. Sometimes, he uses his column to argue for things like increased Federal vehicle mileage requirements, and I think someone needs to respond to those arguments. Sometimes, he uses his column to go off on various SF TV shows for their lack of plausibility. And sometimes, Easterbrook just goes completely off the damn rails.

I realize that may not be the best possible explanation, but look at it this way: I haven’t found anyone else who’s doing responses to TMQ, and the comments section on ESPN.com almost certainly inspired an XKCD comic. Somebody has to do it; why not me? My regular readers who don’t care about sports, or Easterbrook’s sometimes eccentric beliefs, can skip over these entries. For my irregular readers, I recommend Ex-Lax; Dr. Pepper and, believe it or not, Cherry Coke Zero are also helpful.

Shall we begin?

Brett Favre is one of the best quarterbacks ever, has won a Super Bowl, holds most of the NFL’s passing records … and should be benched.

440 words on the subject, and no mention of Favre’s little problem (except, maybe, the “Brett Farve off field” in the accompanying chart, and that’s just in passing). TMQ also lashes Minnesota’s coaching, but I’m not sure Childress has gone that far downhill in just one season. It seems to me that, if anything, Childress has just been paralyzed by the ongoing Farve circus; and, perhaps, an owner who made the mistake of bringing that circus to town. You can’t make a deal with an elephant.

There’s some fairly lengthy commentary from Easterbrook about his son, Grant, who will be playing his last game for Bowdoin College this coming weekend. TMQ is taking a bye week so Easterbrook can attend Bowdoin’s Senior Day. WCD is not going to snark on Easterbrook’s commentary; dragging in someone’s child would not constitute “fair play”, as far as we are concerned. We offer our sincere congratulations to Grant Easterbrook, and to his father.

Erica of the 49ers can’t count words.

Sweet and sour plays: Colts – Texans, Buffalo – Kansas City, Detroit – Washington.

Green Bay’s undrafted free agents outperformed the Jets and their first round draft choices. Green Bay’s coaches outperformed the Jets and their coaches.

Science Cheerleaders! Awesome! But where are the photos, Gregg?

Wacky food watch: the NYT on “transcendent pizza”, coffee as “art”, “repurposing” grilled meat, bartenders with “speed and stamina”, and the punch article we noted previously.

Wacky disclaimer: World of Warcraft.

The end of Christmas creep for this season.

San Diego leads in four out of six major team statistics, but is 3-5. Why? Could it be…special teams?

The Dallas Cowboys are America’s Dumbest Team.

TMQ endorses “resign to run” laws.

For once, TMQ talks about a Hollywood movie without ranting about it being “unrealistic”:

TMQ would like to know whether there are recorded near-death experiences that predate Hollywood, and whether such experiences including tunnels of light and so on. That is, whether anyone had this experience before it could have been planted in his or her brain by cinema.

WCD agrees that this is a fascinating question. We’re inclined to think that this has been discussed in the pages of the Skeptical Inquirer, but we’re not sure.

Amhurst College (Division III) also runs the blur offense. If a ball carrier is wrapped up and not going anywhere, why shouldn’t the officials blow the whistle faster? Wouldn’t that prevent injuries?

Praise for Hamilton College, and other schools that have gone to “need-blind” admission. Tuition prices “as paid” (that is, after aid and grants) have declined slightly, and overall college athlete graduation rates have increased slightly.

Parity is a myth.

That lineup of Saints cheerleaders is…impressive.

If the NFL recommends a particular type of helmet, and a player using that helmet suffers drain bamage, is the NFL liable? Short answer: no, as long as the NFL isn’t hiding information.

Wasteful spending on bodyguards, but no mention of Rick Perry.

TMQ makes up for not complaining about “Hereafter” being unrealistic by complaining about Bond films being unrealistic. TMQ also indulges in a pointless riff on the 49ers and Churchill speeches.

Chicken-<salad> punts and field goals: Seattle – Oakland, USC – Oregon.

California of Pennsylvania 18, Indiana of Pennsylvania 15. Lindsey Wilson 9, West Virginia Tech 7. Nobody at the WP has noticed in the past 10 years that their typesetting system is screwing up football scores.

Reader comments: the rules of chess, “On that day [when the last surviving member of the 1972 Dolphins passes away], there will be song and feasting amongst the football gods” (personally, Gregg, if the 1972 Dolphins and the football gods are anything like you depict them, I expect the football gods to be poking the Dolphins with sticks), fortune favors the bold Chiefs, the sun won’t go supernova you maroon, sports team caused gridlock, and what if Madden depicted players wearing concussion reducing helmets?

(What if Madden depicted players wearing concussion reducing helmets? WCD is not a gamer; is the resolution on consoles so high that you can tell what helmets players wear?)

Single worst play of the season – so far: Dallas on 4th and goal from the Jacksonville 1.

Tune in next week: well, with TMQ on a bye, we’re not sure what we’ll do next week. Maybe we’ll revisit a classic TMQ column.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010 at 1:50 pm and is filed under Neuroscience, NFL, Sports, TMQ watch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.