Last week, we observed that we hadn’t noticed a lot of “cold coach = victory!” this season.
What’s this week’s TMQ headline?
TMQ: Cold Coach = Victory!
Sigh.
After the jump, this week’s Tuesday Morning Quarterback (which you won’t be able to read in its entirety unless you subscribe to “All Predictions Wrong”, which is the actual title of Gregg Easterbrook’s Substack)…
Cold coach = victory. Rushing is better than passing, at least in the cold. “High Scoring Teams Peter Out in the Playoffs” (which TMQ notes is a rerun from last week). Bad blitzing. (Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Ruldoph were all unavailable for comment, as they are vacationing in Jamaica right now, where the temperature at Montego Bay is 86 degrees fondly Farenheit.) “Hot to cold” (also, TMQ admits being wrong!)
Think of all the money NFL teams could save on analytics just by having a cheat sheet of TMQ maxims!
Perhaps they could save enough to pay for their own damn stadiums.
TMQ has thoughts on the KC-Miami game, which you had to pay to watch.
By putting a postseason game behind a paywall, the NFL has broken faith with the populace.
What faith was there to break?
And again, we ask TMQ to extend his logic. Does he also believe that rock concerts in taxpayer funded facilities should not be copyrightable? Classical music concerts? Theatrical performances? Should movies that receive taxpayer support (Top Gun 3, anyone?) not be copyrightable? Should Karen Finley’s “We Keep Our Victims Ready” be in the public domain because the NEA funded it?
TMQ may have a legitimate point here. But let’s think through all the implications.
Congress has proven it isn’t going to do anything about antitrust. Which gives the NFL free reign to buy a piece of ESPN.
The Cowboys joined the 500 Club, but lost anyway. We didn’t see any of this game, and are kind of simultaneously happy (because of our fondness for the Packers) and sad (because of our residual loyalty to the Cowboys). But did this seem like another game where Dallas just simply did not show up?
We’re going to put this here, just to immortalize it. (ESPN currently has Detroit, playing at home, favored 62.5% to 37.5% over Tampa Bay.)
Speaking of ESPN, they’re also scandal ridden. Has anybody else been following this weird story about ESPN and the Emmy Awards? Credit to TMQ: this is some stupid behavior on ESPN’s part. At least they weren’t submitting fake names to win a Grammy.
TMQ mocks the name of the “National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences”. “It’s not vulgarian TV, it’s science!” Seems to us like there’s a lot of science involved in the TV industry: the first down line, the glowing puck, constant improvements in camera technology. It is unfortunate that the NATAS downplays the scientific and technical aspects of the industry at awards time (much like AMPAS downplays them at Oscar time) but that doesn’t make them any less scientific, or any more worthy of TMQ’s sneering.
While we’re on this subject, two things that are worth pointing out:
And TMQ continues to praise the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. By the way, not mentioned in the column, but in his Substack profile:
The Tuesday Morning Quarterback Non-Quarterback Non-Running-Back NFL MVP is coming. TMQ’s Person of the Year is Marlene Engelhorn of Austria. Runner-up is Lt. Madison March (USAF). Speaking of Lt. March, where are the cheerleader photos, Gregg?
Don’t bet. But if you do bet, take the home team. Like, for example, Detroit. Just sayin’. (Noted: TMQ fails to mention compromise Baptist upbringing anti-gambling pro-nudity.)
Is it really, though? There are strong football cultures in the North and NorthEast. TMQ’s written before about California’s playoff system. Do we think Texas is the “epicenter of football culture” because we’ve watched too much “Friday Night Lights”?
Disclaimers. Actually, that “Do not rely on backup camera when backing.” seems perfectly reasonable to us: they have a limited field of view and don’t cover everything. And every ENT we’ve ever heard of agrees Q-Tips aren’t for use in the ear. This item includes the long awaited TMQ Disclaimer.
Stats.
Sweet: Detroit. Yeah, Dan Skipper sold reporting eligible, and that was sweet payback for the bad call by the ref. But we find it sweeter that no team from the five biggest media markets in the US is going to be in the Superb Owl.
Sour: Cleveland. Mixed: Green Bay-Dallas.
TMQ makes the same argument we’ve made: Bill Belichick left with dignity, has nothing left to prove to anyone, and should gracefully retire from coaching.
Bronko Nagurski won the poll for “Best Football Name”. As much as we liked Dick Butkus, we’ll allow it.
Hell’s Sports Bar is back! And “tuning the flatscreens to basketball and curling”. What’s wrong with curling?
The football gods were busy chortling again this week.
[Citation needed.]
Chicken-(salad) kicking: Miami. Punting on fourth and four from your own 27 in the third quarter? We question TMQ’s position here.
Kalen DeBoer is a weasel because he went to Alabama. Perhaps. But who’s going to turn down the job at Alabama if it unexpectedly comes open and is offered to them?
The problem from our point of view is: Alabama fans don’t want “a bowl” every year. They want a national championship every year, not the Beef O’Brady Bowl or an equivalent. Or, failing that, to at least be in the running, as in one of the top four teams. That’s a lot of pressure.
“Adventures in Officiating”: TMQ may have a point about what the rules say the refs should have done about Patrick Mahomes’s cracked helmet. But given the extreme weather, and given that a helmet is important safety equipment, we don’t see a problem with what the refs actually did. As long as they were consistent in their treatment of all the players.
He may have a point about Travis Kelce, but he has to go ruin it with yet another gratuitous Saylor Twift reference.
What’s up with the Washington Post and black NFL coaches, part 2.
Viewer mail: California is trying to ban tackle football for people under 12 years old.
That’s a TMQ statement that leaves us with our jaw on the floor.
And we’re back.
More David Tepper bashing.
Now that we’re done with “Best Football Name” (which was actually kind of fun) TMQ wants to know: “What should the new [Planet of the] Apes movie be titled?”
In Hollywood development is the 11th script, DEI and the Planet of the Apes.
We don’t think we’re particularly sensitive, but that strikes us as the kind of thing that someone could easily call “racist”. And it gets more uncomfortable from there.
Hidden play: Buffalo-Pittsburgh. Bad crowds: Houston, Dallas, Detroit. Bad blitzing: Miami.
Something something transfer portal Klingons.
And the “Single Worst Play of the Season – So Far”: Pittsburgh-Buffalo.
That’s a wrap for this week. Next week, we’ll see how TMQ’s “take the home team” works out. We might even lay down a small bet on the Lions, based on TMQ’s recommendation.
I never bet on NFL football. The reason being that at the level that they play at, especially as the playoffs are concerned, teams are fairly evenly matched. So if they are both very good, then Detroit and Tampa Bay could both win on “any given Sunday”. A blown coverage that leads to a long touchdown catch, an interception due to a lucky guess by the defensive coordinator on when to blitz, a missed extra point, all could lead to either team winning based not on sheer talent or coaching expertise, but on a fluke.
As far as KC v Miami and the pay to watch, I just learned today that 5 teams in MLB will not be on cable tv this year but instead on Amazon Prime. It is not known at this time if there will be an extra charge to watch the games, but as a Detroit Tigers fan and a subscriber to Amazon Prime, I won’t pay extra for the games.
I mentioned to a different blog that if it comes to making us pay, I will not do it, but instead will listen to the games on my radio, just like when I was 8,9, 10 years old hiding under the covers late night when the Tigers were on the west coast, back then on the old AM transistor radio.
I had a transistor radio pretty much my entire younger life. I remember at least 2 different ones, and likely had at least 1 more that I don’t remember. There was something magical about listening to Earnie Harwell on the AM radio that causes nostalgia to hit me hard. The days of my youth were just so much simple, with no worries at all.
As always, have a great upcoming weekend, and safe travels to you and your close family and friends. Here in Michigan we have a warming trend after enduring -10 degrees windchills. It is going to get back into the mid 30’s with rain this weekend and later.