Welcome to the exciting future world of 2024! Which looks a lot like 2023. Except a university is missing a president. Hey, you know who would make a good president for Harvard?
After the jump, this week’s Tuesday Morning Quarterback (which you won’t be able to read in its entirety unless you subscribe to “All Predictions Wrong”, which is the actual title of Gregg Easterbrook’s Substack)…
The Baltimore Ravens are on a tear. The NFL is Darwinian. If the NFL really was Darwinian, wouldn’t good teams evolve to become even better teams? While bad teams, such as the worthless Los Angeles Chargers, would become extinct?
TMQ’s point about Darwinism seems to be that only one NFL team captures the Superb Owl trophy, while there are “49 colleges whose players, coaches, cheerleaders, band, boosters and alums can dance around jubilant when their seasons conclude” (counting the 44 bowl game winners). But aren’t most of those victories pretty much meaningless? Does it really matter in the long run who won the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl? Then again, does it really matter in the long run who won the 2023 Big Game?
TMQ continues to seek corporate sponsors for my proposed Siesta Bowl, during which spectators would take a nice nap, souvenir pillows provided.
Wasn’t it the “Fiasco Bowl” two weeks ago?
More bowl games should have a sense of humor! Move the Pop Tarts Bowl to New Years Day!
Man’s got a point.
Hey, Joe Flacco is good. Hey, somebody noticed the Browns for once.
On the other hand, the Falcons are not soaring. Perhaps because they don’t have a franchise quarterback. Or perhaps it could be because the Falcons are another team that’s figured out they can make more money investing the bare minimum in their team (see also: the worthless LA Chargers).
Respect the “process”, Jets fans.
Speaking of “there is having a franchise quarterback, then there is everything else combined”:
Apparently, there’s something to be said for “everything else combined”.
Yhe Buffalo-Miami game next Sunday night should be exciting. We plan to sleep through it.
Stats.
Sweet: Baltimore-Miami. Sour: Rams-Giants. Mixed: Philadelphia-Arizona. Really, what the heck was up with that?
“How does [“mathematically eliminated”] differ from simply “eliminated?” Well, as we see it, “mathematically eliminated” means “can’t get into the playoffs no matter what” while “eliminated” means “the franchise has been shut down, all the players have been thrown out of the NFL, all of their facilities have been reduced to rubble, the rubble has been plowed into the earth, and the ground sown with salt so nothing ever grows there again”. That’s what we call “eliminated”.
Bill Belichick seems awfully passive to TMQ. Honestly, we can’t blame him. The man’s got nothing left to prove, and should be at the point in his life where he can enjoy a honorable retirement on his own terms.
Why does the Washington Post think Miami coach Mike McDaniel is not black? And generally, why is the WP so concerned about the race of head coaches in the NFL? Does the WP hate football?
The NFL is popular. The NBA is not. Why? The NBA has sold out to the Communist Chinese.
Space is big,
The Universe dark.
It’s hard to find
A place to park.
–Parker Shave
Misdirection on short yardage plays is good. Another recurring TMQ trope.
Why does the NFL hate commercials? The football gods were busy last weekend.
“Worst Crowd Reaction”: Kansas City. We’re telling you, man, that backlash against Time’s “Woman of the Year” (who shall not be named here) is setting in. Also: Minnesota, though TMQ thinks that was justified.
Stop griping about having to take long plane flights “where food and drink are brought to you”. Well, drink maybe. Do tiny bags of pretzels count as “food”?
Incomplete passes > sacks.
Bad blitzing: Detroit. “Bad Situational Football” (formerly known as “pass-whacky”): also Detroit.
TMQ thoughts on Aquaman 2.
Missouri prevailed against favored Ohio State in the Cotton Bowl – the “Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic” its formal name – largely on the basis of going for it thrice on fourth down and thrice succeeding.
You know, we were out with a friend and actually caught large parts of that game while waiting at the bar for a table. That struck both of us as a heartbraking bowl game of staggering ineptitude. We honestly thought (and were hoping for) another 3-0 bowl game (“YMCA” optional).
da Bears. Viewer mail: an offensive linemen was named “Player of the Week”…in 1968. There’s no conflict between sports and theater. A true (by TMQ standards) “double reverse”. SUNY Cortland won the D3 championship, and good for them, seriously.
“Single Worst Play of the Season – So Far”. Would you believe…referee Brad Allen? Yes, the Detroit-Dallas game. We sort of have a problem giving a ref the “single worst play of the season” (this seems more like an “Adventures In Officiating” item) but everything we’ve read (in places other than TMQ) does point to that whole sequence being a fiasco. And, as much as it pains us to concede a point to TMQ, if we were the NFL, we’d be looking into sports betting and the possible influence of that on the game. Further, we sayeth not.
And that’s a wrap for this week, folks. As an administrative note, we decided not to do a TMQ Watch on “An Ode to Christmas Eve” for two reasons. TMQ’s heart was in the right place, and anyone who wants to read it (and see it performed, along with “Gift of the Magi”, by Actors Co-op Theatre of Los Angeles) can do so for free.