We went to see “Cocaine Bear” yesterday.
Summary: if you only see one movie called “Cocaine Bear” this year, this is the one to see.
More seriously, “Cocaine Bear” delivers exactly what it advertises. There’s a bear, it eats a bunch of cocaine, and it mauls people. If this sounds like your cup of dark humored tea, you’ll probably enjoy this movie. If you’re asking yourself “Why would anyone go see a movie called ‘Cocaine Bear’?” or “Is there anyone in it I’ve ever heard of?”, this is almost certainly not the movie for you.
Two quick spoiler free notes:
1. There is not, as of this moment, an Internet Movie Firearms Database entry for “Cocaine Bear”. I hope this changes soon. I want to know what Ranger Liz was carrying. (It looked like some sort of Smith and Wesson to me. Maybe a Model 19 Combat Magnum, although it could possibly have been a Model 27. Lawrence observed that he thought the gun changed size in between scenes, so there could have been a continuity problem and perhaps they used both?) Other people wanted to know what Syd was using, and I’m kind of curious about that myself. And then there’s Bob (a Detective Special?) and Daveed (a Tokarev?)…
2. It is rare that a trailer actually makes me angry. But there’s a upcoming movie with Will Ferrell and Jamie Foxx doing voice work that succeeded in doing so. I won’t name the movie here (though a quick IMDB search would probably turn it up) so that I don’t give it any publicity. But based on what I saw in the trailer, everyone who worked on this pile of canine (waste) starting with the producers, extending down to Ferrell and Foxx, and going on down the line until we get to the craft services people, should have their license to work in film revoked and should be forced to get honest work. Perhaps cleaning out dog kennels.
Geez. Even the trailer for “Indiana Jones and I’m Getting To Old for this Stuff” didn’t make me mad. (Actually, I think there’s a possibility that could be fun. But I’ve only seen “Last Crusade” out of all the Indy films. No, I’ve never seen “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, and I never watched “The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles”. Point being, I don’t have a huge personal investment in the Indy franchise, so I may not be the best judge of these things.)
(The last trailer I can think of that actually made me angry was “All the Vermeers in New York”. And the problem with that wasn’t so much the movie itself, or even the trailer. It was that I seemed to be going to a lot of movies at the old Dobie Theater back then, and every time I went to one, they played that d–ned trailer until I got sick of it.)