Somebody ought to write a book. (Part 3)

I don’t want to talk about this story, because maroons.

The only reason I even link is that it reminded me of a book idea I had a while back.

The inspiration for this idea was an article I read, which I can’t find now, about the extreme precautions taken to keep the identities of the celebrities appearing on “The Masked Singer” secret: the signed agreements never reference the show by name, the celebrities are picked up in obscure places (like in front of a 7-11) by unmarked vans and taken to unlabeled warehouses…

…so the basic idea is: celebrity gets invited to appear on a “Masked Singer” like show, goes through all the steps, gets picked up in front of a liquor store in North Hollywood by an unmarked van…

…and it turns out that there is no “Masked Singer” appearance, and the whole thing is an elaborate, carefully staged, kidnapping plot…

…and because the celebrity thought they were appearing on “Masked Singer”, and would blow their shot if they weren’t careful, they kept much of their interactions secret. Therefore the police have very few clues to work with…

I’m thinking of this as a kind of modern take on Westlake’s The Comedy is Finished except with a younger and fitter kidnap victim. Probably someone who, while being a celebrity, has a reputation for being a not-terribly-bright party person: but while being held captive, realizes that they have to reach inside and develop strengths they didn’t know they had in order to get themselves out alive.

Perhaps this person is a B-list celebrity: used to be big, is still recognizable, but now mostly gets one-and-done guest shots on TV shows. Why would kidnappers nab a B-lister? Maybe because they’re not bright. Perhaps they think this person has more money than they really do. Maybe they see it as a political statement inspired by something the celebrity said or did.

This could set up a mildly humorous bit where the FBI is talking to B-lister’s agent. “(X) thought they were going to appear on ‘The Masked Singer’? Seriously?

Or maybe they are an A-lister, known to be difficult to work with, tending to rely on other people, and not able (or willing) to do anything for themselves. Perhaps they’re starting to alienate important people in the business: they haven’t slipped down to the D-list yet, but if they don’t change their ways…Maybe a hidden drug habit?

By the end of the book, they’re experiencing a career resurgence, thanks to the kidnapping and whatever happens after the kidnapping. Think Rick Dalton, but possibly female?

If you like this idea, I’m putting it out there for the taking. After all, ideas don’t matter: what you do with them does.

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