Whipped Cream Difficulties

Lawrence stated the other night that you can Google DuckDuckGo “Florida Man” and any combination of words and almost be guaranteed you’ll get some results back.

Here is a perfect example of that theory:

Florida man arrested after aggressively eating handfuls of pasta

No, you are not having a stroke. Yes, that is an actual headline, though the gentleman in question was actually arrested for (quel frommage!) being drunk and disorderly in public and resisting arrest. To the best of my knowledge, the eating of pasta – even in an aggressive fashion – is not an actual crime in Florida. Yet.

In other news of the weird:

Man in monkey mask stole mail from Southwest Austin apartments, police say

Moral of this story: don’t mess with the postal inspectors. They got his fingerprints off light bulbs, and…

The U.S. Postal Inspection Service, the law enforcement arm of the U.S. Postal Service, told police the agency had planted a gift card in the mail designed to force the recipient into giving up their personal information to access the gift card. The day after the burglary, postal inspectors learned that the card was accessed by a Texas woman who — joined by a man later identified by authorities as Ortiz — used the card at a Target retail store on Research Boulevard about two weeks later, the affidavit said.

“The Man in the Monkey Mask” was also one of Dumas’s less successful works.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 17th, 2019 at 11:50 am and is filed under Bagatelle, Law. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.