If we had thought ahead (and hadn’t been putting out fires all day long) we would have scheduled this week’s TMQ Watch to post at 4:20 PM.
Why? After the jump, this week’s TMQ…
Legalize weed! Or, as TMQ puts it:
650 words down. TMQ does make some possibly valid points about marijuana as an alternative to narcotic painkillers. We’d make our obligatory mention that we’d like to see some controlled double-blind studies of how effective the devil’s lettuce is as a painkiller, but it’s not TMQ’s fault that he doesn’t have those studies to cite: it’s the fault of the federal government, which has done everything it possibly can since before we were born to prevent that kind of research.
But the fundamental problem with TMQ’s position is this: as popular as the chronic may be in some states, and as much support as there is from players organizations and other groups, ganja is still illegal at the federal level. And no professional sports league is going to line up against the Feds and tell their players it’s okay to smoke goofy bush: at least, no league that wants tax benefits, anti-trust exemptions, stadium deals, and on and on and on.
The other worthwhile question: do you allow wacky tobaccy just as a painkiller? Or as a recreational drug, too, like alcohol? And if you make a distinction, how do you tell? Personally, we couldn’t give two shakes of a bong what people put into their bodies, as long as they’re not hurting others. But the NFL and the NBA and MLB and MLS and the NHL and the WNBA aren’t going to see it that way. At least, not until mary jane becomes as accepted as whisky, and we’re a long way from that.
Chicken-(salad) kicking: Georgia. Except that Georgia was on their own 12 yard line and up by 14 points.
Or, alternatively, he sent the message that he trusted his defense to make a stop.
Stat-O-Matic. Sweet: the worthless Chargers. Sour: Detroit, Indianapolis. Mixed: Dallas-New Orleans.
People want big cars. And trucks. You can now skip over 850 words of TMQ complaining about Ford and GM, taxpayer bailouts, and low MPG cars like the Mustang and Corvette.
This makes us feel a little bit wimpy, but we just suggested you skip 850 words of car bashing. You can productively use that time instead to read Easterbrook’s tribute to George Bush as an unsung environmentalist and a key figure in bringing about the death of the Soviet Union. It is too bad, though, that TMQ couldn’t find something to praise in GHW Bush without also engaging in some gratuitous Trump bashing.
“The Football Gods Chortled.” Hey, is this the first time they’ve chortled this season? “The Football Gods Covered Their Ears.” Can you chortle and cover your ears at the same time, and why would you? “The Football Gods Reached for Sunglasses.” How do you do that with your ears covered?
Something something Buffalo-Northern Illinois. (That’s the University at Buffalo, not the Bills.)
TMQ can’t seem to make up his mind about the Pack, other than thinking it’s a good thing when a coach is cold and suffering. On the one hand, he seems to want to argue that Mike McCarthy was a scapegoat and didn’t deserve to be fired, based on his record. On the other hand, “The team has seemed dispirited all season, and in a league where innovative tactics gain big yards, the Green Bay offensive scheme has become calcified.” So who’s fault is that? TMQ blames “the soap opera that is the Green Bay front office”, but what bad decisions did they make without McCarthy’s approval? Or is it possible that McCarthy did a poor job of developing the players the front office picked?
Speaking of scapegoats, the revolving door of coordinators keeps revolving. Surprise onside kicks in high school football. Really, TMQ?
“Adventures in Officiating”: were the refs in the tank for the worthless Chargers? Or Miami? And why has officiating seemingly (at least to TMQ) gotten worse when the officials are full timers?
No obscure college score, but we have “Obscure College Broadcast”: the Muhlenberg Mules versus the Mount Union Purple Raiders. We can’t lie: point to TMQ on this one.
“Single Worst Plays of the Season—So Far”: this item returns! And the bad plays? Buffalo receivers dropping passes.
The Bills have the league’s number-two defense, yet are 4-8.
Heh. Heh. Heh.
And that’s a wrap for this week, everyone.
Next Week. Bill Belichick’s Christmas cards say PEACE ON EARTH AND GET OFF MY FRONT LAWN.
One of these years, we are going to get it together and do our own custom Christmas cards, with Sants filling good people’s stockings from his sack of vintage Smith and Wesson revolvers. But first we need to find an artist…