Whipped Cream Difficulties

“The Falcons are, in every way, the Epic Fails.”

Someone would like a word with Gregg Easterbrook. (Sorry, Infidel.)

All this and more in this week’s TMQ, after the jump…

250 words down. What explains the Rams improvement in offense? Jeff Fisher is no longer the coach, plus personnel changes. What explains New England’s defensive struggles? “Offseason personnel turmoil”. 636 words down.

Stats. Sweet: Miami. Sour: Atlanta. Mixed: Chicago-Carolina. Chicken-(salad) kicking: Cincinnati.

Elon Musk should be viewed with more skepticism.

Consumer hint: Tesla has a fixed-price ordering system, but car salespeople will always throw something in. Ask for tradable carbon credits.

No, thanks. We’ll take a Yeti cup that fits in the Model 3 cupholder instead.

“Should Tim Tebow have become a tight end?” Reply hazy, ask again later.

Seriously, TMQ cites Logan Thomas and “Terrelle Pyror” [sic] as examples of players who thrived after transitioning away from quarterbacking. However, he also specifically cites Thomas as having physical gifts that suit him for the role of tight end. Does Tebow have similar gifts? TMQ doesn’t answer that question.

Hollywood is out of ideas, and Gregg Easterbrook is nowhere near as funny as he thinks he is.

99 yard drives. The SI curse. “Who Looks This Stuff Up?” Answer: Elias Sports Bureau or a similar organization. For crying out loud, Gregg, you know this.

Reader mail: somebody had to remind Gregg that he didn’t run his 1972 Miami Dolphins auto-text. Which is still wrong, wrong, wrongity wrong!

The 500 Club. “Sweet Oakland Plays of the Week.” There are eddies in the space-time continuum.

(“We Need to Run a TMQ That Lists 5,000 Authors.” Oh, please do. Perhaps one out of those 5,000 can figure out that the surviving 1972 Miami Dolphins don’t pop open a bottle of champagne when the last undefeated team falls.)

Non-stop football gods chortling. But: “Seriously, how can the Browns be so bad?” Good question.

Toledo 48, Akron 21. And that’s a wrap for this week, folks. Tune in next week for the series finale of Tuesday Morning Quarterback. Which won’t actually be the series finale: Easterbrook will just call it that to get more page views.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 25th, 2017 at 12:04 pm and is filed under Firings, NFL, Sports, TMQ watch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.