Whipped Cream Difficulties

Ah, September. The air is turning crisp. Soon leaves will show colors; the holidays are in prospect; everyone looks better in sweaters.

And once again, we ask the musical question: everyone, Gregg?

After the jump, this week’s TMQ…

There are 15 games left in the season. Don’t worry if your team lost: half of them lose on opening day anyway. You can now skip the first 165 words of Easterbrook’s column.

Stats. Sweet: KC. Sour: Washington. Mixed: Green Bay-Seattle.

Bad blitzing: Detroit. Pass wacky: Oakland. What happened to the Bengals and Giants offenses? And the Falcons defense?

Cosmic thoughts: something about Cassini, Saturn, and Arthur C. Clarke. We’re not sure what the point is, either. (Also, isn’t the book technically 2010: Odyssey Two, not just Odyssey Two as Easterbrook has it all the way through?)

College rankings (such as those from “U.S. News and World Report”) should take freedom of expression into account. 406 words down.

A wonderful alternative to the U.S. News status-focused worldview is the invaluable college guide published in recent years by the Washington Monthly. This guide gives significant weight to affordability, contribution to public service, and impact in helping the disadvantaged move into the middle class….
In liberal arts institutions, Berea College finishes first, ahead of all NESCAC schools (Williams, Bowdoin, etc.), ahead of Swarthmore and Pomona, because of Berea’s amazing social-justice stats.

Wonder what Berea’s freedom of expression stats look like.

Duane Brown has a good agent. Except from what we saw in the HouChron, Duane Brown was reviled by Houston sports fans on Sunday for holding out for more money and costing the team the game. “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

Hamster driver, Edgar Wright’s sequel to “Baby Driver”.

Unfortunately social media is winning…

Unfortunately? That would be an interesting debate to have with Easterbrook. Unfortunately, the margins of TMQ Watch are too small to contain the argument.

Another 341 words which are mostly taken from Football Outsiders Almanac 2017. Which you could buy yourself for $20. (Not an affiliate link.) We kind of like “Football Outsiders”, though we don’t read it as much as we used to, back in the day when TMQ was in exile.

“field_requires_kubiak”?

538 words on the New England – KC game, and we can’t figure out what TMQ’s point is, other than KC played better than New England.

“Adventures in Officiating.”

I am not being sardonic when I say: Put flags on the quarterback, and tell defenders to pull the flag.

Chicken-(salad) kicking (ding): Indianapolis, San Francisco.

Viewer mail: “results that cannot occur”, 7×7=49, and what about those Seahawks, you maroon?

“Here you are my good man, here’s your disgruntled defensive tackle, and I’ve thrown in a little something for your effort.”

We cannot lie: that provoked a chuckle.

The SI curse. The NCAA is evil and should lose their tax status.

Lawrence 27, Finlandia 22. One guy beat an entire country?

(Also, for some reason, Easterbrook feels compelled to provide a detailed explanation of “Obscure College Score”. How much of an explanation does this item need?)

The 500 Club. (Ding!) Cupcakes. (Ding!)

And that’s a wrap for this week, folks. We apologize for the delay, but we were kind of tied up last night. For those keeping track at home, this week’s column is just over 4,900 words by our count.

Tune in next week, when we’ll hear TMQ complain about the lack of alien star cruisers in real life.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 13th, 2017 at 6:41 am and is filed under NFL, Sports, TMQ watch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.