TMQ Watch: January 19, 2016.

How does Gregg Easterbrook deal with the fact that Chip Kelly won’t be returning to college football, but instead will be coaching the Santa Clara San Francisco 49ers?

The answer after the jump in this week’s TMQ

TMQ deals with this inconvenient fact by not mentioning Chip Kelly at all.

But don’t blame the N.F.L. overtime format for Green Bay’s woes — blame the conservative tactics of Coach Mike McCarthy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fortune favors the bold and all that. And we’re upset that the Packers lost. But we still believe (as we have long before this season started) that the NFL should go to a straight 15-minute overtime; whoever’s ahead at the end of 15 minutes wins, or they keep playing until someone wins.

Teams have made around 48 percent of their two-point tries in the last three seasons.

So slightly less than a 50-50 chance?

If you factor in that teams made around 94 percent of their extra-point attempts this season;

Not quite sure how that relates to the “go for two” argument, but okay…

that home teams tend to win overtime games (by a slight margin); that favored teams tend to have an advantage the longer things play out (Green Bay was a 7-point underdog); the math is on the side of boldness.

What math? The only relevant number given here is 48 percent.

Brady v. Manning. We’re more entertained by Design Technology Group, LLC v. NLRB. (“Muhahahahahaha!!! ‘So they’ve fallen into my crutches’”. Folks, this why you proofread and spellcheck your Facebook posts; so you don’t look like an idiot when someone quotes you in a legal brief.)

Sweet: Arizona. Sour: Seattle. Stats.

My lottery folk wisdom: Winning $1 million would be really great, winning $1 billion would ruin your life.

As we always say when TMQ spouts this crap, we’ll volunteer for the scientific experiment to see if $1 billion would ruin our life.

Bad blitzing: Arizona, Green Bay.

The constant cheers and standing ovations reduce the State of the Union address to a muddle of one-dimensional applause lines and call-outs to special interests.

Has the SotU never not been a “muddle” of “call-outs to special interests”? Maybe Washington’s first one?

Andy Reid is a poor clock manager.

“Moms and Dads, Do Not Let Pre-Teens Play Any Kind of Football Other Than Flag Football.” TMQ opens this item by citing “the heartbreaking case of Donovan Hill”. TMQ then goes on to ramble about the NFL concussion protocol and possible litigation over “neurological harm from youth and high school football”.

But if the N.F.L. really meant what it says about making football safer, it would be focusing on the high school version of the sport — where there are 500 players for each one professional, and where the time bomb ticks.

But if the NFL started focusing on the high school version of the sport, wouldn’t it face criticism from the state and local organizations that supervise high school football? “Who are these guys, coming in and trying to tell us what to do?”

The other point worth making: if you follow the link in the first sentence of this item, Donovan Hill’s settlement had nothing to do with long-term neurological harm.

A two-way star for his Lakewood, Calif. program, Hill came up from his safety position to try to stop a ball carrier at the goal line. The running back went low and led with his head, as did Hill. The collision snapped Hill’s neck.

More:

In an Outside the Lines television story in 2013, his coaches offered conflicting accounts on whether they encouraged head-first tackling, with head coach Sal Hernandez saying he warned Hill against using it and assistant coach Manny Martinez defending the use of that technique.

TMQ may have a point when he suggests that “Youth full-pads football simply shouldn’t be played.”

But don’t take my word for it, take Archie Manning’s. He did not let Peyton and Eli put on helmets till they reached seventh grade.

But isn’t a 13-year-old in seventh grade, or pretty darn near? Seems to us like TMQ’s possibly legitimate point is muddied by trying to make that particular incident fit his narrative.

Chicken-(salad) kicking: Kansas City, Pittsburgh.

College chess. Weren’t the Gorloks one of the villainous races in “Star Trek: Original Recipe”?

Denver gets booed, and can Pey-Pey resist throwing deep-deep?

Even if the wood cost nothing to harvest, split and dry, how can 20 pounds move from Estonia to Washington at this retail price?

As much as we like to poke fun at TMQ…this is actually a really interesting question. Well, at least to us. Container ships, maybe? They bring loads of Estonian birch, and take back loads of grain and consumer electronics?

(Damn. Now we want some Estonian birch. And a fireplace.)

The Arizona-Carolina game will be a battle of the unwanted. Things might have happened, but didn’t. “Adventures in Officiating”: no Pittsburgh player had possession outside the end zone, so no safety for you.

“Seattle does not seem to take the first quarter seriously.” Which leads us to TMQ’s “Single Worst Play of the Season — So Far”:

Defensive tackle Kawann Short blew past guard Justin Britt and hit Russell Wilson’s arm as he attempted to throw to Marshawn Lynch over the middle. The Cats’ Luke Kuechly, covering Lynch, intercepted. Lynch came to a full stop and simply stood there, watching Kuechly run for a touchdown.

But Lynch — who expects special treatment, who throws hissy fits with the media, whose mother demands that Seattle coaches be fired — stood doing nothing as an opponent ran for a nearly uncontested touchdown in a game the Seahawks would lose by seven. Marshawn Lynch, you are guilty of the single worst play of the season.

Except what TMQ says here is wrong. As pointed out in the comments (which include a link to YouTube video of the play), Lynch slipped on the turf while trying to change direction, and by the time he recovered, Kuechly was already way upfield, out of reach and almost to the end zone. Seems like TMQ has another grudge against somebody, and isn’t above bending the facts in service of it.

That wraps things up for this week, folks. Tune in next week. And remember: TMQ’s “Authentic Games” metric has predicted both a “Cats-Pats Super Bowl rematch” and “an all-animal Super Bowl of Panthers versus Broncos“. We almost want to put some money on Arizona. Almost.

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