Whipped Cream Difficulties

Sex! Gambling! After the jump, this week’s TMQ…

Longtime TMQ readers know my compromise with my Baptist upbringing is to believe sex is good, gambling is bad.

Indeed, we do know that because you repeat that at least once a year. Maybe next year, Greg, you could explain which scriptures condemn gambling, and which ones condone nudity?

(Also: As WCD reminds our readers every year, our compromise with our Christian upbringing is to be pro-full frontal nudity, pro-gambling, pro-autonomous robots selling Glocks and heroin (although to be honest, we would prefer that the robots sell 1911s instead of Glocks), and opposed to government intervention in personal moral decisions.)

…take the home teams in the divisional round this weekend.

1,047 words down. Unless you want to read TMQ’s analysis of why he thinks each of the home teams will win. (Short version: Seattle will win because they’re playing Carolina, the Patriots will win because they’re playing at home, Green Bay will win because it will be cold, and Denver…may not win after all.)

Stats. Sweet: Dallas. Sour: Detroit. Mixed: Baltimore – Pittsburgh.

Lawrence has been subjecting us to “Archer”, but we haven’t encountered the “clandestine songwriting” episode yet. However, we have only made it through season one.

If the 2016 race pits Hillary against Jeb, the country will be assured that four of the last five presidents came from the same two aristocratic landed families. This wouldn’t be good for the republic.

More:

Clinton did a fine job in the Senate and as secretary of state; she’s highly qualified. My big worry is that she’s an opportunist whose first priority is self-promotion, not the interests of the nation.

Serious question: can anyone name an accomplishment of Hillary Clinton as senator or secretary of state? “Avoiding global thermonuclear war” isn’t an accomplishment; that’s more of a minimum expectation.

What a Marrone. (We disagree somewhat with TMQ’s take on the Bills/Marrone situation. “Marrone went along with panicky personnel decisions…” Uh, doesn’t that imply that someone else was making, or at least proposing, those decisions? Also, there were rumors around the time of Marrone’s resignation that the new management is…shall we say, difficult to work for? In that light, who can blame him for taking $4 million in cash and running? Frankly, the weasel photo seems unfair.)

Artificial light and artificial heat disrupt our body cycles.

In winter, our ancestors nestled into bed early; in summer, they stayed up late drinking mead and engaging in communal dance. Now artificial light causes us to stay up year round, usually alone — then we wonder why we sleep fitfully.

Our ancestors also bled people with leeches.

Going back to cool buildings and early bedtimes in winter might be good for our national health.

You first, Gregg. More seriously, we’re pretty sure we’ve seen TMQ complain in the past about how we’re still bound to traditions that originated when the country was primarily agricultural (such as long school breaks in the summer). Is Easterbrook suggesting that now, in our industrial economy, we go back to these same agricultural driven traditions? Because, honestly, we enjoy some good mead, but we can’t dance worth a s–t.

Might as well face it, we’re addicted to war. At least, according to James Fallows.

Why do the Bengals lose? Chicken-(salad) play (or if you prefer, “milquetoast tactics”). This is the story, of a quarterback named Brady, who is giving up 24 million smackers…

Bowl games, summarized: blur offense, fortune favors the bold ones. “The Steelers’ defense simply is not dominant anymore.” Creep.

College women should make their own choices about everything, including whether they want to dance half-naked on national television. But considering that football factories are already exploiting players for income, should colleges also sexualize their cheerleaders in order to rev up crowds and ratings?

Hmmmm. Hmmmm. Hmmmm. Didn’t TMQ just say, “sex is good, gambling is bad”? So why is this even a question? After all, as TMQ points out, college women are consenting adults…

Invisible airwaves crackle with life. Bright antenna bristle with the energy. Nobody cared about graduation rates or the New Era Pinstripe Bowl. And Detroit really does stink: “Not many teams that stage a 99-yard touchdown drive, then lead by 13 points in the second half and go on to lose”.

The Pulaski Skyway is 3.5 miles long and 135 feet above water. The nearby and similar Tappan Zee Bridge in New York state is 3.1 miles long and 138 feet above water. The Tappan Zee is being replaced for a projected cost of $3.9 billion. For the cost of two Pulaski Skyway rehab projects, New York drivers are getting an entirely new bridge with modern engineering — not an expensive remix of an obsolete steel truss bridge that was designed and built during the Hoover administration. Either there are graft and kickbacks in this price, or the project is being significantly mismanaged. The Pulaski costs include some work on feeder highways, but also are expected to grow from $1.8 billion.

Graft and kickbacks? In New Jersey? This is our shocked face:

“Authentic Games Standings“. We’ll just take this opportunity to mention that last week, “The Authentic Games index clearly taps Pittsburgh and Seattle as the Super Bowl pairing.” The week before that, Pittsburgh was at the top of the “authentic game” standings.

“Stop Me Before I Blitz Again!” could be more accurately called “How Did Baylor Manage To Lose This One?” Likewise, what the heck happened to Arizona?

“Adventures in Officiating“: that Dallas flag that everyone has been talking about.

The NFL rule says that if there is any question about whether there was pass interference, then there was no interference — and the debate regarding this play demonstrates there were questions.

Something something Peach Bowl. We would engage in wacky food of the week bashing (as we usually do) but the whole “chemical-free” thing is also a pet peeve of ours. TMQ gets a pass this week. The 500 Club. Single worst play of the season – so far: Cincinnati.

And that wraps it up for this week, folks. Remember to gradually dip your toes back into the post-holiday frigid water of work, and we’ll see you next week.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 7th, 2015 at 6:14 pm and is filed under Bridges, NFL, Roads, Sports, TMQ watch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.