Over the past few years, we have come to the conclusion that the word “professional” is becoming the most abused word in the English language. “Professional grade” pickup trucks; as a dedicated amateur, can I save a few bucks by purchasing a non-professional grade one? “That’s not professional” has become a commonly used phrase in business; what that really means, as we see it, is “I don’t like it, but if I invoke the word ‘professional’, you can’t argue with me.”
What does this have to do with TMQ? Well, in this week’s edition, after the jump…
Once upon a time, NFL scouts wanted college quarterbacks who played in a pro-style offense.
What is a “pro-style offense”, other than “not like college”? Is this anything like “tactical style” (also known as “black”)? TMQ’s main point seems to be that Robert Griffin III and Colin Kaepernick aren’t capable of adapting their play, now that defenses have figured out their particular styles of play.
The pendulum had swung toward college-style quarterbacks on draft day — expect it to swing back the other way.
In other news that kind of makes us smile:
With each successive season, there seems more evidence Shanahan was just the guy who was standing there when Elway realized his potential, and otherwise is a mediocre coach.
Meanwhile, “[Bill] Belichick completely outsmarted Denver Broncos’ backup coach Jack del Rio”, and “Fans were deprived the pleasure of beholding a very long fair-catch kick on the final play of an overtime.” (We actually watched the end of that game. The weather at WCD world headquarters (located inside of a dormant volcano; we got a really good deal on the property in a bank foreclosure sale, but you wouldn’t believe how long it took us to get rid of all the dead bodies, shark tanks, and cat fur) on Sunday was miserable. Anyway, we didn’t feel particularly deprived, though it did seem to us that both teams were playing for the tie.)
Sweet: New Orleans. Sour: Detroit. Mixed: San Diego – Kansas City.
When astronomers look into the heavens and observe fantastically powerful explosions, Gregg, they also try to figure out where those explosions came from. We feel reasonably confident that any astronomer who could scientifically explain the source of these gamma-ray bursts would be in line for a Nobel Prize in physics.
You’re certainly entitled to that speculation, Gregg; indeed, we believe Jack McDevitt wrote a pretty good short story based in part on that idea. But speculation is not reality, and barring substantial evidence in favor of this idea, we don’t any reason for astronomers not to assume a natural origin.
What should Rocky [the dog – DB] give for Hanukkah or Christmas?
Well, if TMQ is asking us, we’d really like a Lexus from Rocky. Or a death ray for our under-volcano lair. We’ve been looking at death rays; they really tie an underground lair together.
You don’t tug on Superman’s cape,
You don’t kick into the wind,
You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Belichick…
TMQ would like for you to know that:
- Jimmy Stewart was never a senator.
- ” That dramatic filibuster, in which Stewart faints from exhaustion, has become such a part of American political lore that it’s important to bear in mind, this never happened.” What does he mean, “this never happened”? “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” was fiction? Stop the presses! No senator ever fillibustered to the point where he fainted from exhaustion? Probably true, as best as we can tell, but what does that have to do with Strom Thurmond’s grandmother’s biscuit recipe?
- “Late in life, Capra said he left Hollywood because ‘hedonists, bleeding-hearts and God-haters’ had taken over.” Quoted without comment.
- TMQ is appalled at the idea of a “big-budget sequel” to “It’s a Wonderful Life”. So is WCD, but not for the same reasons. “It’s a Wonderful Life”? Perhaps, but it’s not a wonderful movie.
If consumers try to use bitcoins to replace U.S. currency, politicians of both parties will be furious.
Especially if consumers start using bitcoins instead of credit cards, since politicians of both parties have been leaning on credit card companies to cut off transactions for things they don’t approve of.
They are, however, pushing for legal approval to accept bitcoins as campaign donations.
“Screw you, Jack. I got mine.” This is a surprise?
TMQ praises Cleveland officials for forcing the Browns to cough up “most” of the cost of stadium renovations. Here’s an alternative view: the city is still kicking in $22 million of the estimated $120 million cost, and is already losing about $6 million a year on their deal with the Browns.
“Who does Luke Kuechly know?” Slime smoke alarms in the Ice Hotel! TMQ still thinks Dennis Tito’s Mars plan is crazy. Creep.
We admit that we haven’t read any of the books, or seen the movies. But the trilogy ends with the main character leading a violent revolution against the fascist child-killing government. WCD endorses any series that teaches young people violent revolution against a tyrannical government is a good idea.
The football gods promise an investigation into Tony Romo, as soon as they finish chortling. Chicken-(salad) kicking: San Jose.
More:
Of course, some of these fixes are in place, or can be put in place fairly easily. (More nukes!)
High-scoring teams tend to peter out late in the season. (Hi, Denver!) More chicken-(salad) kicking: Hamilton in the Grey Cup. Pass receivers get paid to catch passes. TMQ is still creepily obsessed with cold cheerleaders. Sylvia Browne. “O touchdowns, 0 free toppings.” (Giggle. Snort.) TMQ’s comments about Jacksonville last week contained several errors.
This error made me look like a complete idiot.
Nnnng! Nnnng!
Speaking of looking like an idiot, TMQ “forgot” to run the 1972 Miami Dolphins item. “I’ve made a note to myself for 2014.” Good luck with that, TMQ. We’ll be right here, letting folks know that your AutoText is wrong, wrong, wrongity wrong!
What is it with TMQ’s obsession with “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”? Let’s face it; it has a few nice moments, but it really isn’t that great a Christmas special.
“Exercise science”. “Sports industry”. “Carolina won because the Panthers dared on fourth-and-10; Denver lost because the Broncos folded on fourth-and-8.”
So if you’re 26 years old, you’re a child. Even though you probably graduated from college four years earlier and are working. (Our university offers a plan to students taking at least 6 credit hours; it runs $1,871 a year.)
Soon millions of poor and working-class people will find their bare-bones policies replaced by better coverage
Good news! Now all you men have maternity coverage! And all you women can get free yearly prostate exams!
…or that their health insurance costs drop as subsidies kick in.
Call us when the monkeys fly.
Higher taxes on the affluent will fund new health benefits for ordinary people — because Obamacare is, at heart, an income-transfer plan.
You thought you were voting for improvements in health insurance. Instead, you were voting for an income-transfer plan. Good to know.
The rich should pay so that the poor can live better.
TMQ asserts this as a moral imperative. We would ask “Why?”, as well as “what do ‘poor’ and ‘live better’ mean?”
There’s a case to be made that inequality trends are driven mainly by economic changes that have little to do with government. Beginning around the 1930s, industrialization caused employers to compete for skilled labor, which made hourly wages rise. Beginning around the 1980s, electronics caused skilled labor to drop in value, while the value of intellectual property soared. Or perhaps the fortunes of the labor movement explain the curves, as argued by Timothy Noah in his brilliant book “The Great Divergence.” Whichever the cause, your columnist’s wagers are two: Obamacare will prove popular, and inequality will decline.
We’d take that bet.
As for the Moo Cows, they have declined from a preseason playoff pick to a contender for the first choice in the 2014 draft.
Yeah, we wouldn’t have predicted this at the start of the season, but it is looking now like the Texans may get a shot at a house cleaning and a real quarterback.
Please do not confuse Blast Gold with Santo Gold. “Genetically Engineered Surimi” is still a nonsense term. More sweet: San Francisco. More sour: Washington. The 500 Club. The 600 Club. The 800 Club: “…quarterback John Wolford of Bishop Kenny High in the Sunshine State personally gained 773 yards — 539 passing, 234 rushing — as Kenny lost a playoff contest to Clay High 74-73.”
Adventures in officiating: more on the defensive holding non-call in last week’s Patriots-Carolina game. “Illegal contact should be five yards without an automatic first down.” Gronkowski should have been called for offensive pass interference in the Denver game.
“Knute Rockne called it the forward pass.”
TMQ hopes it will establish a festive holiday mood if Oregon wears its radioactive green uniforms while Oregon State sports its visible-from-orbit all-reds.
Christmas creep!
Tabor 14, Benedictine of Kansas 13. Wasn’t Tabor the robot monster in one of those MST3K episodes?
And that’s a wrap for this week, folks. Enjoy your turkey. No, we mean the bird cooked in the oven, not the Detroit Lions game.