Well, I followed through on at least one of my threats:
Onion dip, made from scratch using Alton Brown’s recipe.
I was genuinely surprised at how much liquid the onions gave up after I added the brown sugar, salt, and baking soda and let them sit for about 15 minutes. I was also a little surprised at how long it took to cook them down.
How does it taste? Well, in keeping with our Jeremy Clarkson theme…(warning! Language!)