Archive for December 14th, 2019

Merry farking Christmas, y’all.

Saturday, December 14th, 2019

I was cautiously optimistic, tending almost towards excitement, about Christmas this year. I’m mostly getting along with almost everyone, and Daddy didn’t spend the Christmas money on brakes this year. (As a matter of fact, Daddy got his car inspected without any issues, got the oil and filters changed, got a minor repair done, and Daddy’s new vehicle registration is in the mail and should get here before Christmas.)

You know what depresses me at this time of year, though? (“Almost everything!” cries the peanut gallery.) They’re not too far off. But one thing that gets under my skin is car wrecks.

We live in a part of town where car wrecks are a distressingly common sight. The roads are heavily trafficked and carrying more than designed capacity. But car wrecks at Christmas really get me down.

I see someone with the whole front end of their car smashed to heck: obviously, this is a total loss. The ambulance is standing around nearby, and even if it doesn’t look like anyone was badly hurt, I’m thinking to myself what a shame it is. The kids were looking forward to that Playstation 5 (sorry, Playstation V) or the XBox 720 (“now with tint control!”) or the new Banana PCJR Pro, Mom goes out to the grocery store, and both parents come home hours later. “Sorry, kids. No Christmas this year. The car’s totaled and we’ve got to get a new one.”

I know I’m probably stretching a little: out here, I think everyone has comprehensive on their cars, and they’re probably not out more than the deductible (and the gap, if they don’t have gap insurance). But it still bothers me.

The other problem out here, oddly enough, is deer. The hooved rodents are belligerent and numerous, there’s strong opposition to doing anything about them (“They’re so cute! How dare you trap them!”), and people frequently have unpleasant encounters with them, even on heavily trafficked roads like RM 620 or SH 71. Our next door neighbor hit one a few weeks ago: it didn’t do a lot of damage from what I could tell, but her car was in the shop for a bit.

Last night, it was my turn. We were driving back from dinner down a two-lane road that’s a shortcut between US 290 towards Dripping and SH 71 towards Lakeway/Bee Cave when one bounded across the road in front of us. I saw it out of the corner of my eye as it was crossing the road towards the driver’s side but didn’t even have time to react: we clipped it pretty solidly on the passenger side.

The good news is, the car’s driveable: there’s some loose plastic around the passenger side wheel, and a fairly large dent in what I’d call the under-bumper. But there’s no hood damage, the headlights still work, and I think the front running light on that side does as well. There’s no evidence that the engine compartment took a hit, and I don’t see any fluids leaking. And the airbags didn’t go off.

I know it could have been a lot worse: we could have hit it square on and done more damage, it could have ended up going through the windshield into the passenger compartment…as I said, the car’s driveable, we have coverage, and Mom’s calling the insurance company Monday morning. We may even have dashcam footage if I can find it.

I guess what I’m trying to say this holiday season is: be careful. Look both ways. Turn with a light when you can, even if it takes you a little out of your way. Don’t pull a U-turn in the middle of the highway.

And if you’re in an area where it is hunting season and you have a license, take as many deer as you legally can.

I heartily endorse this event or product. (#17 in a series)

Saturday, December 14th, 2019

Thirty Eight Pecans.

It’s a store. That sells pecans. He does wholesale and mail order all year, but he has a retail store (buried in the back of a strip center off of 183, next to an animal hospital) that’s open during the holiday season.

His selection is amazing: Tennessee Honey or Jack Daniels flavored pecans? Got them. Amaretto chocolate? Dark chocolate? Milk chocolate? Cajun? Just plain ones for baking? Got it all. Looking to ship a sampler to someone? Just go in: he’ll take care of the packing and shipping. All you need is an address (and payment).

We’ve been there twice since the season started, picking up pecans for ourselves and to ship to relatives. The thing that finally pushed me into writing an endorsement, though, is this: Mark, the guy who runs the place (origin story here) is incredibly nice and flexible. It seems like everything we asked for (and granted, we didn’t ask for anything really exotic and outlandish), his response was, “Sure, I can do that,” as well as, “Sure, I can get those in the mail today. I’m going to the post office anyway.”

This is another one of those people who I want to have trouble sleeping at night: because all of those $100 bills stuffed in his bedding are making too much noise.

My impression is that he’s going to be open next week (if you want to do last minute shopping), closed Christmas week, and will be open again January 2nd. After the first of the year, he plans to have a fire sale to clean out inventory until he opens up again next winter.

If you don’t have a convenient Knights of Columbus branch selling nuts, or even if you do, throw some business Mark’s way. I want these people to stay around and prosper: they’re really good folks.

(I didn’t get anything for writing this endorsement. Not even free samples. I just wrote it because I really like Mark, and his store.)

Obit watch: December 14, 2019.

Saturday, December 14th, 2019

As promised, the Danny Aiello roundup: NYT. THR. Variety. Tributes.