Chuck Pagano out as head coach of the Colts.
The team was 4-12 this year.
Edited to add: And now, Jack Del Rio out as coach of the Raiders, according to ESPN. Haven’t found a good link for this yet. Rumor for the past couple of days has been that the Raiders really want Jon Gruden and are prepared to offer him everything, including equity in the team.
Gregg Easterbrook is going to be more insufferable than usual.
Honorable readers:
As of 3:06 PM Central on December 31st, 2017, the Cleveland Browns became the third team in the modern NFL era to go an entire season without winning a game, and the second to finish an entire season 0-16.
Only the 2008 Detroit Lions match Cleveland’s record for futility: the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers finished their first season 0-14.
In other news, the New York Football Giants actually won their game, improving to 3-13. This may be good enough for second place in the draft: the Colts beat Houston and finished 4-12.
More later, maybe. There will be a ceremonial toast drunk tonight.
Edited to add: Yep. Looks like it’s going to be Browns-Giants for sure. I think the third and subsequent positions are still up in the air until the late games are over.
ETA2: Cleveland.com coverage.
ETA3: Per NFL.com, it’s going to be:
Browns
Giants
Colts
Browns again (traded with Houston for this pick)
I expect Bloody Monday to be interesting. If there are any “Damn, you didn’t even wait to get him in the house” firings tonight, I’ll try to update.
It looks like the NYT replaced the incomplete Sue Grafton obituary I linked to on Friday with a full obituary, without changing the link. Okay fine. LAT. WP.
I wish I had more to say about her: I’ve never read any of the books. They are sort of on my list, but I have it in my head that I want to start with “A” and read them in alphabetical order, and I’ve just never gotten around to doing that.
They missed one, and I think this is a nice tribute:
Hey, since the @nytmag didn’t do a “The Lives They Lived” for Jim Nabors, who died on Nov. 30, permit me to do one here…
— David Kamp (@MrKamp) December 31, 2017
The NYT is reporting the death of Sue Grafton, author of the Kinsey Millhone “alphabet” mysteries, at the age of 77.
The paper of record does not have a full obit up yet: I will try to post a follow-up when I can.
I’m too young to remember the “Dick Van Dyke Show” (and oddly, never caught it in reruns).
Yeah, that Selma Diamond. I did not know this.
This is where I remember her from. And here’s a neat piece of trivia:
We’re still unclear on why this was the case. Especially on Christmas Day: the first game started at 3:30 PM Central, and was over with enough time left to watch the good “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and promptly flip over to the second game before the bad “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” came on. (Really, whose bright idea was it to show the vastly superior animated special before the feature length movie that should never have been made?)
So. Many. Possible. Punch. Lines.
Can we return this and get something actually useful? Like socks?
Reactions to Socks as a Christmas Gift by Calendar Age:
0-3: blurb nurg (eats socks)
4-12: oh, socks
13-18: (SIGH) socks are you FUCKING serious
19-39: oh thank god, something useful, thank god
40+: Warm feet are the solitary joy remaining to me in this dark and fallen world— The Lynch who Stole Christmas (@scottlynch78) December 23, 2017
After the jump, this week’s substitute for a TMQ…
Two articles from ESPN that amused me:
“The worst teams in NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL history“. I quibble with their NBA team choice, but the rest of the picks seem sound.
“The worst NFL teams ever for all 32 franchises“. The picks for Detroit and Tampa Bay are logical. But were the 1990 Browns worse than the 2016 Browns?
However, this sounds like an excellent case for small clams court.
I’m having a hard time finding versions of this song on YouTube that I like. I might have to resort to something different next year.
But this year, you’re getting a twofer.
I like this video enough to post it. My quibble is that this is entirely instrumental, and I feel like this song needs vocals.
So I’ll throw this one in as a bone to all my prog-rock friends out there:
One more, I think, before Christmas. This is another military Christmas story, but does not involve General Mattis at all. It’s been widely retweeted by a whole bunch of folks, but if you haven’t already seen it:
I have a lot of fond holiday memories from 22-yrs in the Army and 4 combat deployments. My favorite was during Desert Shield in Saudi Arabia when I was an OH-58 Aeroscout Platoon Leader for the 24th Infantry Div's Apache Battalion as we prepared to invade Iraq. Long thread: (1)
— Fred Wellman (@FPWellman) December 22, 2017
Start there and follow the thread. Also for what it’s worth: I put this in the “funny” rather than “touching” category.
da Bears won! da Bears won!
NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:
Cleveland
With the defeat, the Browns became the first team in NFL history to have multiple 15-loss seasons, according to ESPN Stats & Information. The Browns, who are 0-15 this season, finished 1-15 last season.
Coach Hue Jackson has been coach for both seasons and is 1-30 in his two years leading Cleveland. Browns owner Jimmy Haslam already has stated that Jackson will return in 2018.
And in other news:
Gee, where I have heard something very much like this before…? ‘Tis a mystery.
As I’ve noted a couple times before, the Browns last game of the season is in Pittsburgh. Anything can happen, of course, and depending on playoff position the Steelers may want to rest their starters, but I don’t see Cleveland coming out with a win unless things go totally off the rails.