Whipped Cream Difficulties

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
San Francisco

NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

None.

Bonus firings content:

Jim McElwain out at Florida, in what appears to be a “mutually agreed” departure. Terms are supposedly still being negotiated.

Early last week, McElwain claimed that his family and players were receiving death threats. Reports are that the university spent the week looking into those claims and was unable to substantiate them: it was widely reported yesterday that the school was looking to fire McElwain “for cause” over this.

Tony Perez and Andre Dawson have also left the Miami Marlins. Much like Jeff “Mr. Marlin” Conine, this appears to be the new ownership cleaning house.

Perez and Dawson met with Jeter a little more than a week ago, when he told them of plans for their decreased responsibilities and an expected decrease in pay — though apparently Jeter didn’t say how decreased in the meeting. After word came back that their salaries were now to be $25,000, which under different circumstances might qualify someone for food stamps, Perez and Dawson questioned how badly they were wanted. There was some discussion about what they’d be allowed to do now, and while they still would be allowed to walk through the clubhouse, apparently they were no longer to dress in there.