Archive for March, 2013

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If I had a pony, I’d ride him on my boat.

Monday, March 11th, 2013

Back in the old days, before he was driven from office by prosecutoral misconduct and later killed in a plane crash, Ted Stevens managed to get a prototype “amphibious assault vessel for the Navy” diverted to Alaska. The plan was to use it as a commuter ferry between downtown Anchorage and suburbs to the north of Anchorage. (Wait. Anchorage has suburbs?)

A $4.5-million passenger terminal was constructed for the state-of-the-art, ice-capable catamaran, and the Matanuska-Susitna Borough proceeded with big plans to expand its port, link it to an interior railway and foster communities in the remote farm fields that surround the proposed ferry landing — defying critics across the country who held up the “ferry to nowhere” as an example of wasteful federal pork-barrel spending.

None of this ever happened.

The end of Stevens’ reign in 2008 meant no more federal handouts, leaving little money to build landings, insufficient cash to subsidize operations and no means of convincing Anchorage to build a dock on the other side.

Now the Matanuska-Susitna Borough is offering the boat for free to any “government entity” that wants it. Guess who is in “very preliminary discussions”?

“We think a ship like that could provide us with a versatile public safety asset for emergency response, mainly to Catalina Island, where the ability to move people and equipment and firefighting apparatus is currently a challenge,” said Ryan Alsop, Los Angeles County assistant chief executive officer.

I wonder; if it didn’t work for suburban Anchorage (which apparently needs a $750 million bridge), is it going to work out for Catalina Island?

Posted in Boats, California Über Alles, Clippings, Law | Comments Closed

Gales of derisive laughter, Bruce.

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Beyond.com has been sending me emails with “recent opportunities and information”. Here’s a screen shot of one I got yesterday:

scooter

(Click to enbiggen.)

What’s so funny about this? Note the subject line, and the bottom listing. (I cut off the rest, as it wasn’t relevant.)

Note that the Scooter Store was raided by Federal agents on February 20th.

Late Friday afternoon, The Scooter Store’s chief executive notified employees that — effective immediately, but “with certain exceptions” — they’d been placed on unpaid furlough.
In an email, CEO Martin “Marty” Landon told employees not to return to work unless they receive notice from the company’s human resources department.

I wonder if they’re still looking for a sysadmin. (Not that I would apply; I’m not all that interested in working for a company that’s been raided by the Feds. Even if I was, San Antonio/New Braunfels is too far for me to commute.)

Posted in Clippings, Law, Schadenfreude | Comments Closed

Crime of the century!

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Somebody, or a group of somebodies, stole eight – that’s right, eight – school buses from a Chicago area bus yard last night.

The people who stole the buses drove them to a scrapyard, where they were shredded.

“There was a pile of shredded school buses about two-stories high,” one police official said. Some pieces were large enough that police could see the “Sunrise bus logo,” the official said.
Engines and transmissions from the buses had already been cut in half, and the seats tossed in a “big pile of scrap.”

(The linked article includes some photos of the pile of scrap.)

Apparently, the buses were stolen sometime between 7 PM last night (when the yard was closed) and 5 AM this morning (when the theft was discovered). So are scrap yards typically open after 7 PM on a weeknight? And wouldn’t you figure that someone would ask questions when eight school buses were driven in for scrap? Or was there more going on?

When officers arrived, several people who apparently worked in the scrap yard ran into a building, police said. Officers initially apprehended one person and later took two others into custody. The owner was arrested in the afternoon.

(This could also double as important safety tip #18 17:

The buses were all equipped with GPS tracking devices, and police were able to track “their entire movement” to the scrap yard on the West Side, police said.

Don’t steal stuff with GPS tracking devices, or stuff that you might think has GPS tracking devices. Among the things that you might think have GPS tracking devices, if you’re a criminal mastermind:

  • Airplanes.
  • Expensive cars.
  • Government vehicles, including police cars.
  • School buses that carry children.

That’s just a partial list. I’m sure others can think of more examples, but those should suffice for the crackheads in my audience.)

Posted in Clippings, GPS, Law, Safety | Comments Closed

Important safety tips (#15 and #16 in a series)

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Three in one day? I know. But there’s a story in the NYT that offers some instructive lessons.

Chris Huhne was a British political figure. The NYT describes him as “a fast-rising politician with fashionably left-of-center views on social issues and a background in high finance that had yielded a multimillion-dollar fortune“.

He also had a lead foot. He was caught speeding by a roadside camera back in 2003, and he had three previous convictions prior to that. If he had been convicted on the 2003 charge, he would have been banned from driving and fined.

So he got his wife to say she was driving instead.

Safety tip #15: the cover-up is always worse than the crime.

Had he pleaded guilty at the time, he would have faced a $100 fine and been barred from driving for six months to a year; by lying in the case, he ultimately lost his cabinet post, the first politician in British history to be forced from office by a criminal prosecution, as well as his parliamentary seat, and, British pundits say, any prospect of a future political career.

Huhne pled guilty to a charge of “perverting the course of justice”. He hasn’t been sentenced yet, but the judge in his case has indicated Huhne will probably serve time.

Vicky Pryce, Mr. Huhne’s wife at the time, was convicted of the same charge, and will probably serve time as well.

How did things fall apart?

Ms. Pryce stuck with the deceit over the speeding ticket for more than seven years until Mr. Huhne, faced with the imminent exposure of an extramarital affair with one of his political aides by a London tabloid, abruptly walked out of the 25-year marriage.
The court heard that Ms. Pryce learned the news from her husband when he confronted her during a halftime break in a Saturday-afternoon telecast of a World Cup soccer match in 2010, announcing that he needed an immediate separation to save his cabinet post.

Tip #16: if you’re going to ask your wife to cover-up your crime, treat her well. Don’t plan on divorcing her, unless you’re sure the statute of limitations has run out. And I’d check with a lawyer first, just to make sure you haven’t overlooked some crime that you could possibly be charged with.

Posted in Clippings, Law, Safety | Comments Closed

Be careful out there.

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Sutchi Hui, a 71-year-old San Francisco resident, was walking with his wife through the busy intersection of Castro and Market streets when he was hit by Bucchere in March 2012. He died of his injuries four days later at San Francisco General Hospital.

Chris Bucchere, the man who hit Mr. Hui, is being charged with felony gross vehicular manslaughter.

People get hit by cars every day, and the drivers sometimes face charges, yes? So why am I picking out this case?

Because Mr. Bucchere wasn’t driving a car: he was riding his bicycle when he hit Mr. Hui.

“Court testimony indicated that [Bucchere] was going at least 30 mph and that he ran two red lights and a stop sign prior to going through the intersection where the collision occurred,” said San Francisco Assistant Dist. Atty. Alex Bastian, a spokesman for the prosecutor’s office.

Posted in California Über Alles, Clippings, Law | Comments Closed

Important safety tip (#14 in a series)

Friday, March 8th, 2013

I don’t care how good looking you are, or how handsome you think you are.

I don’t care how lonely you are after your divorce.

I don’t care how beautiful the bikini model is, or what her cup size is.

Don’t check luggage that belongs to other people.

Because the best thing that can happen to you is that they’ll find the cocaine hidden in the suitcase, and you’ll wind up doing hard time in an Argentinian prison.

Posted in Clippings, Law, Safety | Comments Closed

All local, all the time.

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

A Round Rock police officer shot himself in the right foot Tuesday. I’ve avoided blogging this until now because the Statesman didn’t have much detail beyond that. But this is interesting:

A Round Rock police officer who accidentally discharged a gun into his right foot Tuesday was attending a workshop to become an instructor for Glock firearms, said Dee Carver, a police spokeswoman.

Also, it gives me an excuse to embed this video, which never gets old:

And the case of the dog with no nose? The ownership question has been resolved:

The dog, a bearded collie that rescuers named “Victory” will remain in the care of Austin Pets Alive which will place it in a foster home.

The Statesman does not report a judicial ruling on the question of “how does it smell?”.

(Previous coverage.)

Posted in Clippings, Cops, Guns, Law | Comments Closed

Old Man Yells At Cloud.

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

This has come up in conversation twice in the past seven days. I believe that is a sign that I have to make a blog post out of it.

“Django Unchained” is currently number 41 on the IMDB list of top 250 movies.

Here are some movies that the IMDB top 250 voters think “Django Unchained” is better than:

  • “Citizen Kane” (#46)
  • “Lawrence of Arabia” (#69)
  • “Return of the Jedi” (#80)
  • “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (#86)
  • “Heat” (#120)
  • “The Maltese Falcon” (#122)
  • “Fargo” (#129)
  • “The Wizard of Oz” (#151)
  • “Network” (#169)
  • “The Exorcist” (#204)

Feel free to go through the list and post your own “Django Unchained is better than…WTF?” moments in the comments. I, personally, promise not to refer to you as Grandpa Simpson, though I can’t say the same for other people.

Posted in Movies | 1 Comment »

Is it just me?

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

…or are there other folks out there who see the Pocket Hose commercial and say to themselves “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn“? (I can’t get the video to start where I want it to, even with YouTube’s embed link, so fast-forward to about 56 seconds in to see what I’m talking about.)

(And how have I gotten by for this long without a “Cthulhu” tag? Fixed now.)

Posted in Cthulhu, TV | 1 Comment »

Right turn, Clyde.

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

One of FARK’s ongoing tropes is the idea that NASCAR is the sport of white male rednecks. So the story of Tia Norfleet should push some buttons: she’s not just a woman, but she’s the first African-Amercian woman to race in NASCAR, or so she says on her website.

In speaking engagements with students and in news media interviews, Norfleet has for several years portrayed herself as an accomplished driver in the sport. She has sought sponsorships and has a PayPal account on her Web site, which includes articles and videos about her achievements.

Her website also says that she plans to run a “full schedule” in the NASCAR Nationwide series, “one rung below the top-tier Sprint Cup series”. At least, that’s what the NYT says: I can’t find this claim on her actual website. She does have a schedule, but the schedule appears to be just a list of NASCAR races this year, with links going back to the race pages on NASCAR.com. She does not appear in the results for the Dollar General 200, or the DRIVE4COPD 300. I am unable to find any mention of Tia Norfleet on the NASCAR Nationwide drivers page.

You see where this is going, don’t you?

But Norfleet is not licensed to compete at that level [the Nationwide series level – DB]. In fact, the only sanctioned race that Norfleet has entered, according to the sport’s officials, was a low-level event last year at the Motor Mile Speedway in Radford, Va., where she completed one lap before driving onto pit road and parking her racecar.

More:

For the past four years, Norfleet has purchased a license to race at the lowest level of stock-car racing. There is no vetting process for such a license; individual racetracks must approve drivers for competition.
To move up to a higher level of competition — a regional touring series like the K&N Pro Series East or the K&N Pro Series West — a driver must earn approval from Nascar. Norfleet has not done that yet.

And more:

Norfleet had indicated that she planned to race in an Arca event at Daytona International Speedway last month. But she had not completed an application to race for Arca; had not bought an Arca license; and had not participated in a test at Daytona in December, which was required to race there.

In addition, Ms. Norfleet may have a bit of a criminal record for assault and “crossing a guard line at a jail with contraband and possession of marijuana“. That’s not necessarily a disqualifying factor, in my humble opinion: I’d certainly be willing to give someone a shot at redemption in NASCAR with that kind of record. But when you put that together with the other pieces, it raises alarm bells.

Noted without comment:

…publications and Web sites like The Washington Post, The Huffington Post and ESPN have heralded her ascent.

Edited to add: Ms. Norfleet has posted an Instagram photo purporting to prove she does have a license. I am not a NASCAR expert, but there are three things I wonder about:

  1. Is there anyone out there who has seen an actual NASCAR license and can vouch for the fact that the photo looks correct? There’s no driver picture on it. I’ve never seen a NASCAR license and Google Image Search isn’t helpful.
  2. If I am reading it right, the license is for the “Whelen All-American” series, which I am not familiar with, but which looks (from NASCAR’s website) to be a step or two down from the K&N Pro Series (which, in turn, is below the Nationwide series). I wonder if this is one of those series where you can purchase a license from an individual racetrack.
  3. Ms. Norfleet does not show up in the top 500 drivers in that series through last September.

Posted in Cars, Clippings, Media, Sports | Comments Closed

The Spiders from Cleveland.

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

By way of Borepatch, I found this rather amusing post on the 1899 Cleveland Spiders.

For those who don’t follow baseball history (or loser history) the Spiders were a major league baseball team. But you would have been hard pressed to tell in 1899: the team went 20-134, the worst record ever in baseball history. (That’s a .130 winning percentage.)

They finished 84 games out of first place. They lost 40 of their last 41 games.

(I would actually kind of like one of the hats, but I’m not sure it is a $49 hat. And the J. Thomas Hetrick book MISFITS! Baseball’s Worst Ever Team is not just available from Amazon, but actually has a Kindle edition.)

Posted in Books, Clippings, Loser, Spiders, Sports | Comments Closed

Random notes: March 6, 2013.

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

My two favorite tributes to the late Hugo Chavez: here and here.

Both the NYT and the LAT are reporting arrests and confessions in the Bolshoi acid attack. (Previously.)

Investigators said that they believed that the dancer, Pavel Dmitrichenko, hired two men to accost Mr. Filin outside his apartment building late on Jan. 17. As Mr. Filin punched in an entry code, the police said, a masked man called his name and tossed the contents of a jar of sulfuric acid at his eyes.

The NYT says one of the men has confessed: the LAT says both men and Dmitrichenko have confessed.

“I organized the attack, but not to the extent of the damage that happened,” Dmitrichenko said, stone-faced, to Russian news Channel One. The dancer, who has performed such roles as the Evil Genius in Swan Lake and Russia’s brutal ruler Ivan Grozny in a ballet of the same name, planned the assault for “personal resentment related to his work,” police said, according to Russian media reports.

Roy Brown Jr. has died. Mr. Brown was a car designer for Ford. This was one of his designs:

Come all without, come all within. you’ll not see nothing like Mighty Quinn’s.

(Sorry.)

Posted in Art, Beef, Cars, Clippings, Food, Law, Obits | Comments Closed

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