Archive for March, 2012

I have no joke here, I just like saying…

Thursday, March 15th, 2012

Gonzaga!

This is to note that Lawrence has bet me $5, straight across, against the Gonzaga men’s basketball team winning the championship this year. (I have Gonzaga, he has the field.) This is a little late, since the tournament has already started, but Gonzaga has not played yet.

Since I know he follows basketball more than I do (heck, Helen Keller follows basketball more than I do, at least when she’s not hiding from the Nazis) I’m curious to see who his pick is. Perhaps he’ll weigh in in comments.

A toast to Post.

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

Melville Davisson Post, to be specific.

While looking up a related subject, I found this essay by Joseph Bottum which calls him “America’s Greatest Mystery Writer”. I am not sure I would be willing to go that far, but Bottum makes a good case, and I do admire what of Post’s work I’ve been able to find.

When I was a kid, Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine would occasionally reprint one of the Uncle Abner stories. Later in life, I found a copy of the University of California collection he mentions and rediscovered Uncle Abner, who “belonged to the church militant, and his God was a war lord.”

I think the Abner stories appeal to me for the same reason Chesterton’s Father Brown stories do; the mixing of religion and reason, and the idea that one can believe in both God and the application of the human mind to solve the great mysteries. Post and Chesterton and C.S. Lewis, and others, to me fit in the great tradition of rationalist Christianity.

I am also particularly struck, and delighted, by the extended passage Bottum quotes (starting just after “The extraordinary passage…”) I, too, was struck by that passage when I read it; it hangs over my desk today, and I re-read it (along with Bolt’s line from Sir Thomas More: “And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned ’round on you, where would you hide…?” and a few other select quotes) in times of great moral crisis.

“…whatever I may have to say of him hereafter I want to say this thing of him here, that his bigotry and his vanities were builded on the foundations of a man.” I admire the way he paints that word picture. “He stood up as though he stood alone, with no glance about him to see what other men would do. . . .”

I commend Bottum’s essay to your attention. He did write the “God and the Detectives” essay, which I am still reading and digesting, but which you may also care to read.

And speaking of drinking…

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

…the NYT on one of my favorite drinks, Irish coffee.

With recipe. Just for the record, here’s Law Dog’s recipe. If you know how to search, you can find at least part of Larry Niven’s “Adrienne and Irish Cofffee” in Google Books, but you really should go buy Playgrounds of the Mind. (I’ve always liked Niven much better as a short story writer and essayist than as a novelist.)

Important safety tip. (#11 in a series)

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

This has been covered on FARK, and my angle on it may be more of a legal tip than a safety one.

However.

While I am opposed to drinking and driving, it helps your court case if you can say you drank something reasonable and innocent sounding. “I had a Grasshopper.” Grasshopper. How threatening does that sound? “I had two Sidecars.” Nice, mellow, classic drink. Gentlemen drink Sidecars. Even “I had two Manhattans” or “I had three Negronis” doesn’t sound too bad.

But when the testimony in court is that you ordered eight of something called a “Mind Eraser”, that doesn’t look so good. Just a suggestion. If you plan to get your s–t f–ked up, you should consider a designated driver and something that doesn’t sound threatening. A nice Long Island Iced Tea or eight, perhaps.

John Carter, John Carter, Malkovich.

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

Actually, no Malkovich.

John Scalzi’s column at filmcritic.com this week is about “studio math”. Specifically, why a movie that cost $250 million to make has to bring in at least $600 million at the box office in order to turn a profit. Much of this was stuff I already knew (the movie studios take most of the first week’s box office gross, declining in subsequent weeks, distribution cuts, gross profit cuts, cocaine cuts, etc.) But I note it here because it is a handy reference for folks not familiar with show business, especially the kids.

Meanwhile, back at the House, I’m sure you’ve all been asking yourself: What does John Carter (the member of Congress from Round Rock) think of “John Carter” (the motion picture)?

He kind of liked it. I guess that’s the one thing they’ve got.

Happy Pi Day!

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

I’m getting a slightly late start, due to work-related issues (which I haven’t decided whether I’m going to discuss or not), but the Pi Day celebration proceeds.


Courtesy of my great and good friend Commvault Bryan.

The lineup of pies for Pi Day 2012. We went a little over the top this year (thanks to generous co-sponsorships from my great and good friends Chris and Barry). Not pictured; the chocolate cream pie, which vanished before I got any. (But we had key lime, lemon meringue, a Kahlua cream pie, apple, cherry, no sugar added “razzleberry”, banana cream, coconut cream, and pecan. No shortage of pie here in the bunker.)

My great and good friend Nate brought in a paelo pie.  The crust is ground walnuts and organic, grass-fed butter. The filling is pumpkin, sweetened with natural maple syrup. If there’s general interest, I might try to pry the recipe out of him; it is a really good pie.

Edited to add: This is absolutely not a bookmark for the LAT‘s list of recipes for Pi Day.  (Crawfish spinach? Yum!)

Very, very carefully.

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

This is a multi-purpose punchline. In addition to “How do porcupines make love?” it also serves as an answer to the question: “How do you steal a three foot tall active beehive?”

Seriously, I have no idea how or why you’d want to steal an active beehive. But let’s watch some Nicholas Cage anyway.

Edited to add: You can get three pounds of bees with a queen for $105 shipped to your doorstep (when these people have them in stock). Other folks have them as low as $90. I realize criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot, and generally not able to do subtle economic calculations. But still, this seems like a really stupid crime. Perhaps the criminals will try to fence them, and the police can set up a sting operation.

Sorry.

More South by So What?

Monday, March 12th, 2012

In a wide-ranging talk about the Internet and government, Al Gore urged the techie crowd at South By Southwest to use digital tools to improve government.

Unless Algor’s definition of “improving government” is “getting it out of our lives”, or unless the tools he’s talking about include autonomous Glock and heroin vending robots, he might as well just sit the f–k down and shut the f–k up.

He pushed for the creation and implementation of digital tools and social media to “change the democratic conversation.”

Gore talked of a “Wiki-democracy” of “digital flash mobs calling out the truth” and “a government square that holds people accountable.”

What evidence is there that “Wiki-democracy” will work any better than Wikipedia? “a government square that holds people accountable”? What does that mean?

... Votizen, an online network of voters that leverages social networks to campaign for their issues.

I actually kind of like this idea. Here’s why: the thing about “leveraging social networks” is that it can turn around and bite your ass. Look at “Kony 2012“. Their plan was to “leverage social networks” to get the word out about their film and get donations to Invisible Children. But the social media campaign ended up bringing a lot more attention to Invisible Children’s critics, and a lot more skepticism directed at the project. Remember: this is the Internet. We can fact check your ass.

Paging Mark Clifton. Mark Clifton to the white courtesy phone, please.

Monday, March 12th, 2012

Eating red meat — any amount and any type — appears to significantly increase the risk of premature death, according to a long-range study that examined the eating habits and health of more than 110,000 adults for more than 20 years.

I’m sure this study is going to be extensively analyzed, refuted, the refutations refuted, and the refutations of the refutations themselves refuted. I don’t expect any clarity on this before I die in a supermodel’s bed at the age of 115.

However, as soon as I read that headline, the first thing I was reminded of was “The Dread Tomato Addiction”, the essay that taught me “Correlation does not equal causality” before I could even pronounce “correlation” or “causality”. (Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration. But I still commend the essay to your attention. Please note the original publication date.)

(For more about Mark Clifton, you could start with this Wikipedia article. You might also, if you ask Glen real nicely, get him to weigh in on They’d Rather Be Right, “perhaps the most contentious novel ever to win the [Hugo] award.” He’s the only person I know of who has actually made the effort to find a copy and read it; I’m not sure Lawrence has done that, but he can correct me in the comments if I’m wrong Edited: see comments.)

Things I Don’t Like.

Monday, March 12th, 2012

This isn’t intended to be a complete list. Nor is it a random assortment. There’s actually a point to this list; stay to the end.

  1. “Doctor Who”. Sorry. Never got into it when I was young, too old and too much baggage and cannon for me to get into it now. Nothing personal: if that’s your thing, may the good Lord shower blessings upon you and keep you safe in his arms.
  2. PayPal. There’s a market opportunity for someone to come along and say “Look, we’re just like PayPal, except we have real customer service and we’re not as big a bunch of scum sucking dogs.” Seriously, given PayPal’s history (try here, here, and here for some examples) anyone who uses them for anything important might as well be playing Russian Roulette with a .45 automatic.
  3. Alzheimer’s disease. The only thing I can imagine that’s worse than watching someone you care about slowly lose their mind – indeed, their very self, the essence of what makes them human – from Alzheimer’s is having that happen to you personally. I hate Alzheimer’s disease.

So what’s the relationship? A guy named Steve Berry, working with an illustrator named Ben Morris, has put together a book called Behind The Sofa, which is described as containing over 100 celebrity memories of “Doctor Who”. I don’t recognize everyone in it, but Neil Gaiman, Philip Plait, and Rick Wakeman might be selling points for some folks. You can check out the book at their website, here. The hardcovers are apparently sold out (unless you buy the Slitheen package) but the ebook is available for a mere £4.99. Doing the currency conversion online, that’s $7.80. You can just barely, maybe, get a decent lunch in Austin for $7.80; two tacos at Torchy’s and a drink will set you back that much.

And 100% of the profits are going to Alzheimer’s Research UK. (Do I trust these people? Well, I figure anyone who crosses Neil Gaiman is either too stupid to run a proper scam or has a death wish, so yeah, I trust them.)

So if you like “Doctor Who”, or if you’re indifferent to “Doctor Who” but have been touched by Alzheimer’s, this might be something you want to support. It certainly seems to me to be something that deserves wider publicity. I hadn’t heard about it until…well…remember I mentioned PayPal? Yeah. Not good.

(Hattip: @newsycombinator.)

South by So What?

Monday, March 12th, 2012

Mike the Musicologist sent me an email this morning that I hope he doesn’t mind me quoting:

I don’t even live in Austin, and I’m already tired of hearing about South by Southwest. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you…

I responded that it hadn’t gotten that bad yet.

It got that bad around noon.

The two things that sent me over the edge:

  1. Takeru Kobayashi ate 13 grilled cheese sandwiches in 60 seconds. Because someone decided what SXSW needed was a competitive eating contest.
  2. The navel gazing over “Homeless Hotspots”. (Statesman. Read Write Web. Wired.)

Next phase, new wave, dance craze, anyways…

Monday, March 12th, 2012

The rock arrived safely at LACMA.

And the LAT has collected a bunch (but I don’t think all) of their coverage here. Just in case you want to relive the story from the beginning.