Whipped Cream Difficulties

So what does the tastefully named Gregg Easterbrook have for us in this, the second week of our TMQ Watch?

Let’s start with Monday’s “TMQ Preview”, “NFL shouldn’t take fans for granted“, in which he shows off another common TMQ trope: “…there is no law of nature that says the NFL must always be so popular.” Easterbrook’s point (unlike food and shelter, the NFL is an optional commodity) is hard to argue with, since it’s so obvious. However, his discussion of the ticket sales problems the Jets and Giants are having is enlightening; also noteworthy is his report that naming rights to their new stadium remain unsold. I would be a lot happier, though, if Easterbrook would provide sources for these reports.

Moving on to today’s TMQ, Easterbrook’s AFC preview:

• Another Easterbrook trope is the increasing size of NFL linemen. This week, he argues that because linemen are getting increasingly larger, the running game is becoming less important. Easterbrook points out that the two best teams in the AFC last season (San Diego and Indy) were 31st and 32nd overall (respectively) in rushing, and that the Eagles offensive line starters this year average 342 pounds. (But what’s the mean? And the standard deviation?)
• Terrell Suggs and his $39 million guaranteed contract was as bigger, or bigger, a waste of money as Albert Haynesworth’s $32 million. And the Ravens “look stacked” this season.
• The Bills suffer from awful drafting and lousy coaches. Can Chan Gailey make the Bills better? Can Trent Edwards? TMQ seems cautiously optimistic about Chan Gailey, and pessimistic about Trent Edwards. WCD has no hope for either one.
• The Bengals – Jets game on Thanksgiving night could define the Bengals season. And Chad Ochocinco gives good Twitter.
• Gregg Easterbrook works so you don’t have to. Specifically, he added up the number of scantily clad women in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.
• The Browns must have been smoking a very bad grade of crack to trade for Jake Delhomme and give him $7 million, guaranteed.
• Denver is in chaos, for the second season in a row. And the Broncos cheerleaders charge a $3,500 appearance fee (for five cheerleaders for two hours).
• Ah, Texans, my Texans. What does Gregg say? “…the Texans are not a mature winning team.” Can’t argue too much with that.
• Easterbrook uses the Colts (once again) to kick around (once again) the argument that teams that have clinched playoff berths should keep trying to win, even if the wins are meaningless overall.
• Jacksonville hasn’t got much return for the draft choices they’ve used on offensive and defensive linesmen.
• “When you lose at home in consecutive weeks to Buffalo and Cleveland, as the Flintstone did in 2009, you are an awful team.” Just in case the 4-12 finish in 2007, the 2-14 finish in 2008, and the 4-12 finish in 2009 hadn’t clued you in on that already.
• Paraphrasing Easterbrook, if people have a problem with the Ground Zero mosque, why don’t they have a problem with the Pentagon mosque?
• The Jets recent drafts have placed an emphasis on “”skinny glory boys” over linesmen, probably so the Jets could sell personal seat licenses in the new stadium. How’s that working for them? Oh, yeah…
• The Dolphins need to try something other than the Wildcat.
• Easterbrook plugs Tim Layden’s Blood, Sweat, and Chalk, a history of football tactics. This is a little deeper into football than I like to go, but if it sounds possibly up your alley, click over and read Easterbrook’s review.
• Nope, he still hasn’t given up on the creep watch.
• New England is aging. And while they’ve traded for a lot of lower round draft picks, many of their choices haven’t worked out.
• The Raiders are still going to stink.
• “It’s likely that on opening day, only four Pittsburgh offensive starters will be the same players who started that Super Bowl — just 18 months ago.”
• Ah, I see Easterbrook has taken note of The Last Train To Hiroshima. This has been covered by some other folks, too, way back when.
• Why do the Chargers fold in the playoffs? Could it be the San Diego lifestyle? A lack of mental toughness?
• The Titans have coaching stability. But they haven’t won a Super Bowl.
• Ah, good. Easterbrook’s running reader comments. Most of this week’s comments are examples of games where the result was overturned (or otherwise changed) due to gross officiating errors.
• Thank God for Easterbrook’s coverage of the Arena Football League! Otherwise I wouldn’t have known they were still playing! Seriously, I thought the AFL folded two years ago.

That’s it for this week, folks. Two weeks into this year’s columns, and Easterbrook hasn’t come up with anything I can argue with him about. The season is still young, though. Try the veal, and remember to tip your waitress.