Whipped Cream Difficulties

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

This isn’t working out too too badly. The Browns lost. The New York Football Giants lost again, and sit at 2-12. San Francisco won, and is now 4-10.

Cleveland’s next game is on the road at Chicago. da Bears are also 4-10: I’m concerned about this game, but Chicago will be playing at home, with an extra day of rest (they played Saturday) and has something to play for. Even a moral victory is still a victory.

And let us not forget the Colts, who are at 3-11, but don’t play Cleveland or New York or SF the rest of this season, so who cares? (Their last two games are Baltimore on the road and Houston at home.)

In “not exactly a firing, but…” news: Jerry Richardson is selling the Carolina Panthers.

“Why?” you may ask.

The announcement came just hours after a Sports Illustrated report outlined allegations of sexual and racial misconduct by Richardson toward former Panthers employees.
The team announced an investigation into the alleged misconduct on Friday evening. The NFL said Sunday that it would take over the investigation.

This is still a developing story. Does Richardson selling the team cut off the NFL investigation? Could the Panthers move if they were sold? If so, where? And should I ask for a Magic 8-Ball for Christmas?

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland.

I remain cautiously optimistic. The Browns play the woeful Chargers next Sunday, and the Chargers are the team that ruined Cleveland’s shot at a perfect season last year. But: the Browns are playing in LA, those Chargers are 5-6, and they just beat Dallas at home (on Thanksgiving, yet, so those Chargers will have a few extra days to get ready and healthy).

Firings watch: in a move that was speculated on before Thanksgiving, Texas A&M fired Kevin Sumlin. He was 51-26 over six seasons, and the team is 7-5 (4-4 in conference).

Sumlin was 16-20 where it counts most – in the SEC West – and the A&M program will go more than three years without a division win at home, headed into next season. The Aggies last won at home against an SEC West opponent in October 2015, and won’t play host to another division foe until November 2018.

As one of the articles I read put it: they were paying Sumlin %5 million a year, and just finished renovations to Kyle Field. They want and expect better than 7-5.

“Our expectations at A&M are very high,” A&M athletic director Scott Woodward said. “We believe that we should compete for SEC championships on an annual basis and, at times, national championships. I believe that we need a new coach to take us there.”

And Todd Graham, also 7-5 this season (and 6-3 in conference) is out at Arizona State, also after six seasons.

As much as I dislike linking ESPN, here’s a handy chart of coach firings for you.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland

San Francisco had a bye this week, so they remain at 1-9. And shockingly, the New York Football Giants actually won another game. (Against Kansas City, in overtime, 12-9. That must have been another titanic offensive struggle.)

I think that’s going to mess up their shot at a high first-round draft choice. Sorry, Infidel.

Firings: Jim Mora fired as head coach at UCLA. After six seasons. On his birthday. “Happy birthday. Here’s your present: it’s a pink slip.”

But don’t cry too hard:

UCLA announced it would honor the terms of Mora’s contract, which included four more seasons and a buyout of roughly $12 million, using exclusively athletic department-generated funds. That money, secured in part from lucrative television deals and the recent mega-apparel contract with Under Armour, will preclude boosters from having to write a large check.

…

Mora compiled a 46-30 record at UCLA, including four bowl appearances, a Pac-12 South Division title in 2012 and 10-win seasons in 2013 and 2014. But his teams have gone 10-17 since late in the 2015 season.

Marcus Satterfield out at Tennessee Tech. 6-16 over two seasons.

Edited to add: This seems to be official now: Denver fired offensive coordinator Mike McCoy. The team is 3-7 and has lost six games in a row.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
San Francisco

NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

None.

Bonus firings content:

Jim McElwain out at Florida, in what appears to be a “mutually agreed” departure. Terms are supposedly still being negotiated.

Early last week, McElwain claimed that his family and players were receiving death threats. Reports are that the university spent the week looking into those claims and was unable to substantiate them: it was widely reported yesterday that the school was looking to fire McElwain “for cause” over this.

Tony Perez and Andre Dawson have also left the Miami Marlins. Much like Jeff “Mr. Marlin” Conine, this appears to be the new ownership cleaning house.

Perez and Dawson met with Jeter a little more than a week ago, when he told them of plans for their decreased responsibilities and an expected decrease in pay — though apparently Jeter didn’t say how decreased in the meeting. After word came back that their salaries were now to be $25,000, which under different circumstances might qualify someone for food stamps, Perez and Dawson questioned how badly they were wanted. There was some discussion about what they’d be allowed to do now, and while they still would be allowed to walk through the clubhouse, apparently they were no longer to dress in there.

Apologies for this being later than usual, but I was waiting for a couple of things to come together.

NFL teams that still have a chance to go 0-16:

Cleveland
San Francisco

How about that titanic battle of the Browns/Titans offenses, eh? I was actually a little worried there.

And the NBA regular season has fired up, so you know what that means:

NBA teams that still have a chance to go 0-82:

New York Knicks
Chicago
Philadelphia
Dallas
Phoenix

And it is pretty early in the season, but we already have our first firing: Earl Watson out as coach in Phoenix.

The Suns started the season 0-3 and suffered their worst loss in franchise history, losing by 48 points to the Portland Trail Blazers, in the season opener. They allowed 132 points to the Los Angeles Lakers in a two-point loss on Friday and then were blown out by the Los Angeles Clippers 130-88 on Saturday.

He was 33-85 over “two plus” seasons.