Whipped Cream Difficulties

The Art of Manliness posted a list of “The 10 Best War Movies of All-Time”.

Aesop over at the Raconteur Report posted a response.

Borepatch posted a response to Aesop’s response.

My turn. Readers should be aware up front that I have never served with any branch of any military anywhere in the world: my opinions about war movies basically come down to “Did I enjoy it? Did I think it was a good story, well told?” Not necessarily “Were they using a period correct AR platform? Were the missile launch scenes accurate?”

If you think I’m ignorant and want to skip to the next entry, go right ahead. Something else will be coming along soon.

With my lack of qualifications out of the way, my takes on the list. The Art of Manliness first:

• “Saving Private Ryan”: I’ll get this out of the way up front. Never seen it. I guess I wouldn’t mind seeing it, but I feel like it was one of those movies that was so overhyped at the time, it triggered my rejection gland. (See also: “E.T.”)
• “The Great Escape”: Also have not seen it. Do have the DVD, it is on our list, and I do want to watch it soon.
• “Das Boot”. Saw the director’s cut in a theater with Lawrence, loved it.
• “Glory”: Never seen it. Unlike Lawrence, I am not a big Civil War buff, so this movie has little appeal for me.
• “Apocalypse Now”: I liked it, but I need to watch it again. Is it a good war movie? I don’t know: Aesop and others don’t seem to think so. Is it a good movie? I thought so.
• “The Thin Red Line”: Have not seen it. Primarily because I have some friends who went to see it in a theater and walked out.
• “Patton”: one of my favorite movies of all time.
• “1917”: Didn’t get around to seeing it in theaters, would not mind seeing it. But putting a movie from 2019 on the best list? Really? Could we get some historical distance here? Perhaps a five or ten year gap before we start calling movies “best”? (Also, I have seen “All Quiet on the Western Front” and “They Shall Not Grow Old”, both of which are excellent films. Frankly, I am shocked that neither Borepatch or Aesop mentioned the latter.)
• “The Longest Day”: saw large parts of it on TV when I was younger, would not mind seeing the whole thing again. But it strikes me as one of those relics of the old Hollywood system where everybody is in it, and it may be just a little overstuffed.
• “The Bridge on the River Kwai”: haven’t seen it, believe it or not. Very much want to, and it is on the list.

Aesop’s list:

• “Zulu”: Heck to the yes!
• “The Great Escape”: See above.
• “Patton”: See above.
• “Lawrence of Arabia”: also heck to the yes!
• “Blackhawk Down”: Saw that in a theater with Lawrence as well. Am a huge fan of the book. Another damn fine movie.
• “Hamburger Hill”: have not seen it, would be interested in seeing it.
• “Das Boot”: see above.
• “Gettysburg”: have not seen it, see my comments above on “Glory”.
• “Braveheart”: have not seen it. I believe it is on our list as an Oscar winner.
• “A Bridge Too Far”: watched it recently with Lawrence and the gang. It’s…okay. But to my taste, it was way too long.

Borepatch:

• “Glory”: see above.
• “Stripes”: it has been a long damn time since I’ve seen that, and I need to watch it again. I do agree with Borepatch’s comments that comedy doesn’t get any respect.
• “Band of Brothers”: haven’t seen anything but clips on YouTube, but those make me want to watch the series. Once Lawrence and I get some of our other TV series out of the way, that may be next on the list.
• “Hogan’s Heroes”: also been a long damn time since I’ve seen an episode of that, even though it is on MeTV.

Things that I’m surprised are missing from all three lists:

• “12 O’Clock High”. The movie, though what I have seen of the TV series is also good. But I think “12 O’Clock High”, like “Patton”, would go on my top ten list.
• “The Hunt For Red October”: yes, I think this qualifies as a war film.
• “They Shall Not Grow Old”: see above.
• “All Quiet on the Western Front”: see above.
• “300”: I’m more just surprised that nobody mentioned it, rather than being willing to argue that it’s actually great. (I enjoyed it, but I’m not sure I would call it “great”.) I’d be happy to have a discussion with Aesop and Borepatch about this one.
• “Paths of Glory”: you didn’t like “Full Metal Jacket”? How about this one? (I think “FMJ” is about half of a good movie.)
• “Kelly’s Heroes”: I think I didn’t see “Great Escape” because this one was the one that was all over late-night TV when I was growing up. I have fond memories of it, but need to re-watch it.
• “The Wind and the Lion”: I think it counts.
• “Run Slient, Run Deep”
• “The Alamo”: the good one, with John Wayne.
• “Mister Roberts”: speaking of comedy not getting any respect…also, I think there’s a good leadership lesson in this one. (Don’t be like James Cagney.)