Whipped Cream Difficulties

Lawrence and I have bet $5 straight across on the Houston Texans’s chances of making the playoffs. Lawrence is taking the pro-playoffs side, while I am skeptical enough about Houston sports teams in general that I am willing to put up $5 that they won’t make the playoffs.

This is probably a sucker bet, but I get more than $5 worth of entertainment out of my bets with Lawrence, and we haven’t done a bet in a while, so why not?

Lawrence also sent over a story from Not the Bee, though I was already on it and planning to cover it today.

Danny Jansen became a historical footnote on Monday. He was the first (and so far only) baseball player to play for both sides in a baseball game.

As a matter of fact, not just both sides, but both sides in the same inning.

How did this happen? He was playing for the Toronto Blue Jays on June 26th. In the second inning, he hit a foul ball off of Boston pitcher Kutter Crawford. Then the rain started and the game was postponed.

On July 27th, Mr. Jansen was traded to Boston for three minor league players.

The postponed game was resumed on Monday.

Before the game resumed at 2:06 p.m. ET Monday — a delay of 65 days, 18 hours and 35 minutes — Red Sox media relations coordinator Daveson Perez announced the changes in the Fenway Park press box: “Pinch hitting for Danny Jansen: Daulton Varsho. Defensive changes: Danny Jansen now at catcher.”
With Jansen behind the plate, Nick Pivetta struck Varsho out to complete the at-bat Jansen started. Then Jansen came up for the Red Sox with two outs in the bottom half of the frame, getting a nice cheer from a sparse makeup game crowd, and hit a lazy liner to first base to end the inning.

Toronto won, 4-1.

Well, once again, Gonzaga folded. And they didn’t even reach the Final Four this time. I’ve paid off my bet with Lawrence.

And, having learned nothing from history, I’ve bet another $5 with him on baseball. This year, I’m picking the Indians to win it all: the humor value of betting on the Cubs isn’t there any longer, I can’t stand the Dodgers or Yankees, and (as I’ve noted before) some of my family pull for the Tribe.

And 538 is giving the Indians a 13% chance of winning it all (as of today, April 3rd), second only to the Astros. So I’m feeling kind of good about my chances…

…I should document, for the hysterical record, that Lawrence and I renewed our $5 bet on Gonzaga. (I take Gonzaga, he takes the field.)

After all, it is the Year of the Dog.

Revelation 6:12-6:14:

I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red, and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind. The heavens receded like a scroll being rolled up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place.

I’m actually pretty conflicted over this.

On the one hand, as I’ve noted many times before, I have family in the Cleveland area. Some of them are Indians fans. One of my beloved family members who is a fan is also going through some serious health issues at the moment: I won’t go into detail to protect their privacy, but the Tribe winning would give them a much needed morale boost.

On the other hand, if the Cubs win:

1) It would shut up the Cubs fans and their perpetual wingeing about being the hardest luck fans in baseball.
II) Ideally, Steve Bartman would become a very small footnote in history.
c) I would win $5 from Lawrence.

So: family happiness, or $5 from Lawrence? Decisions, decisions.

Well, I was right about something for once.

On the one hand, I am disappointed that I won’t be collecting my $5 from Lawrence.

On the other hand, if the Cubs had won the World Series, we’d be looking at the opening of the seventh seal and global Apocalypse.

So perhaps it is better, after all, that they did lose.

On the third hand, they went a lot further than I honestly thought they would go. Seriously, this was an impressive run.

On the fourth hand, I’ve gotten more than $5 worth of entertainment this year out of the Cubs.

And on the gripping hand, it seems like this is actually a good team. I’ve got high hopes for next year. (And I don’t think I’m the only one: I’ve seen other people projecting that 2016 might just be the Cubs’ year.)